Your Marriage Is Important To God


Your Marriage Is Important To God

Your Marriage Is Important To God


Is your marriage important to you? It is to God. And if it’s important to Him, it should be important to you. If that’s not the case, it would be good to change your priorities. We pay attention to those things that are important to us.

I have known my husband since he was 11 and I was 13. That is a long time to know someone and we are more in love than ever. We recently celebrated our 32nd anniversary. We are blessed with two beautiful children who love the Lord. But our current happiness was threatened at one time.

Lost And Without Hope

About 25 years ago, before we had a foundation in the Lord, our marriage was in trouble. Neither of us knew how to fix it. Suddenly, the challenges all marriages face began to snowball and we both decided to split up. We were lost and without hope, in terrible shape in every area of our lives.

My kids’ welfare was the only thing that was important to me and I decided to focus on them and not on myself. I devoted myself to giving them all the attention they needed. That was one of my best decisions at that time. Bit by bit, I began to get my thoughts together. But everything was still very, very painful.

A Strange Resemblance

After a few weeks I received a phone call from a friend who asked me to go to an Amway meeting with her. As part of the program, a couple gave a testimony about how their marriage had been restored after their decision to divorce.

As I listened to their story, I noticed how much the husband resembled my husband. It was almost if my husband were standing on the platform saying things such as “You must fight for your marriage” and “Your struggle is worth it” and “Stick with your partner and work things out.”

I had no clue that God was working in me and on behalf of our marriage. God had a miracle for me and our marriage right there in front of me. Not yet being a Christian, I didn’t recognize God’s hand in my situation. BUT…..I yielded to the goodness that was portrayed through this couple’s testimony. They told us that their miracle was possible for everyone. So, I decided that I would be that “everyone” in my situation.

I was so excited…especially since this man looked so much like my husband. I returned home where my husband was babysitting our children, filled with joy and hope. I told him what I had heard and asked him if he would like to try to make our marriage work. He said, that he had been thinking about the same thing all night. Well, isn’t that just like God?

Marriage Restored and Ready to Be Born Again

So, we made a mutual decision to come together again. With the help of friends, we worked through some hard places in our marriage. A few months later we were born again. It was the best day of our lives. And here we are at 32 years of marriage. Praise the Lord!

Later, my husband and I returned to one of those meetings where I had heard the life-changing testimony. I wanted to tell that couple how much their testimony had blessed us, and tell them our testimony, of course. This time, to my surprise, the husband didn’t at all resemble my husband. My perceiving him that way was part of how God worked a miracle for us. He wants to do the same for you if you will yield to His goodness. God is a good God. He loves you unconditionally. His mercy is there for you all the time. Receive it by releasing all that bitter junk that is compromising your marriage.

Six Key Ideas To Elevate the Importance of Your Marriage

If you want to begin putting the same importance on your marriage as God does, I Peter 3:1-13 provides six key ideas to make your marriage stronger and to help you grow together as husband and wife.

1. Adapt yourselves (I Peter 3:1 AMP)
The Amplified Bible translates submit as adapt yourselves to them. Submit doesn’t imply being a doormat. To adapt means to “fit and flow together.” It is a wonderful thing when a husband and wife flow together in everything that they do and in everything that they envision in their life.

2. Honor your mate
When you honor someone, you treat them as you wish to be treated. Do you wish to be treated as a king? Then treat your mate in the same manner. If you are the king, treat her like a queen. If you are the queen, treat him like a king. Your act of honoring will return honor to you.

3. Be of one mind (I Peter 3:8)
It takes effort to be of one mind (one in thought), but it is possible. We need to grow in our communication. We also need to be able to receive and give correction to one another. In order to give correction, you must be able to receive it.

4. Show compassion to one another
You need to be able to feel what your mate is going through. The KJV version tells in 1Peter 3:8 that we need to be courteous; I always appreciate it when my husband is courteous to me.

5. Do not render evil for evil
Whatever you sow, you will reap (Galatians 6:7). This is true for every area of life. Plant a seed of love when your mate is going through a difficult time, or when you’re in a situation prone to strife. Don’t join in the strife with your mate. Sow mercy and love into the situation, and you’ll see your mate change before your eyes. You will reap what you have sown, good or bad.

6. Flee evil situations
Run from the appearance of evil. If you’re in a situation that’s a temptation to you, whether it’s on the job or wherever it might be, obey the warnings your spirit gives you.

It is really important that you not only love each other, but that you appreciate each other as husband and wife

To Sum It Up

Whether your marriage is in the valley of despair (like mine was), mundane, or on the mountaintop, it’s important to pay attention and do things to nurture it.


A Daughter Delivered and Predators Unmasked


Today  I feel so honored to introduce you to a mother of 10; I know her from the time I was attending VBI and lived in Tulsa. Her husband was one of my teachers. My daughter used to babysit her children.

I was very touched by the story that had happened to them as a family, which is one of the stories of many households these days…

I know you will be blessed today by their testimonial; I hope you will enjoy their own blog as well.

Enjoy: Olga

A Daughter Delivered and Predators Unmasked

By Lisa Cherry



We were considered a model pastor’s family. Close, connected, hardworking, fun.

That was the community picture until that revealing day in October when we opened an $800 cell phone bill. A billing error. That’s what my protective Mama’s mind preferred to believe.

But when all phone calls were traced, the full reality of our horrifying discovery became apparent. They all led to the cell phone of a 46 year old man from our church and the hotel rooms he frequented while traveling on business.

Our precious Sunday school teaching, 15 year old daughter, Kalyn, had been lured into a secret relationship with this trusted family “friend.” Instantly our beautiful family’s world exploded.

With her innocence shattered and her soul traumatized, Kalyn became an impossible teen—like the ones our family had previously helped other parents minister to. Depression, rebellion, anger, cutting, wrong relationships and eating disorders became our daily enemies.

I remember those days as if looking back on a bad movie script. Loud, angry confrontations. Runaway chases. Odd cars showing up in our driveway. Golf balls thrown through windows and glass used to cut arms.

Truly the enemy worked every one of his tricks to terrorize and destroy our home. Our pain threatened to drive us from the path of our Lord’s service. But God had another plan!

What happened to our daughter took us years to truly understand. Sexual abuse had ushered her into a world of deception. She had become one of this generation’s statistics. We did not know back then that one in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused by the age of 18.

We naively thought we were immune to predators since we had taught her about dangerous strangers. Sadly, we did not understand the crazy allure of grooming strategies practiced by those who would deceive.

Beyond the obvious sexual damages, she was tricked to abandon the truth planted in her heart. She joined—for a season—the throngs of young people shifting their view of God to accommodate the sexual filth of our day.

But Jesus and His word did not return void in her life! She was rescued out of her deception and pain by our loving heavenly Father.

That same girl encountered the power of her Savior who delivered her from the deceiver’s grip. Today she is a happily married mama of a beautiful baby girl who shares her testimony with all the parents and young people who will give her an ear!

Our family’s story is not unique in its pain. It is, however, rare in its outcome.
I often think if I had one day of my life to live over, it would be that day in October those several years ago when we discovered our daughter’s secret. How I wish I could walk through that day with my current level of understanding and wisdom.

However, that day has passed, and today, I am given an opportunity to influence my other kids who are still passing through our home, and the many others who have been assigned to our ministry. I must help them to grow a heart of wisdom that will protect them and equip them to live a powerful life with their Savior.

Perhaps as you are reading our story today you can relate to some of our family’s pain. Maybe your life has been touched by the predators of this age. Maybe you are a parent or grandparent helplessly watching your children spiral out of reach as they have left your protective cover.

Maybe you are carrying secrets that have polluted your own inner world. Sexual abuses and sins that are not dealt with are buried alive and able to control our lives.

Our kids are living in a sex-saturated culture gone mad. Sexual predators, both in human form and in ideological form, threaten to destroy young lives from within.

We hear the stories every week as we encounter families and their pain. Sexual abuse, homosexuality, cohabitation, pornography and lewdness have invaded our Christian circle by storm.

Are we prepared, body of Christ, for our day of battle? Will our children survive the veritable flood of dissipation? Only if we awaken to our King’s voice and heed His words of instruction! Parents, grandparents, and leaders, we must awaken. Denial or wishful thinking will not deliver this generation from the enemy’s plan of destruction.


Lisa and her daughter, Kalyn, share their full story in Unmask the Predators: The Battle to Protect Your Child. Doug and Lisa Cherry are founders of Frontline Family Ministries, and POTTS (Parents of Teens and Tweens.)  Together with their children they travel and speak to parents and teens. Their videos, books and blogs are equipping a new generation of parents to lead their kids through a hostile culture. You can contact them and find their Unmask book, workbook and video curriculum at Lisa blogs at






The Importance of Relationships




The Importance of Relationships

by Olga Hermans

The other day I heard somebody say, “The more I get to know some people, the better I like my dog.” It shook me for a minute, but then I thought…in some cases that might be true. Last weekend I was in a large crowd of people and really met the most interesting people from all walks of life. I love that!

But I must say, some people are sometimes just a little obnoxious if you know what I mean. God must have a sense of humor because He puts us all together in one place and wants us to realize that we need each other. He wants us to know the power of relationships; He works through people like you and me to get us where we need to be. So, let’s have a look at the importance of relationships the way God meant it to be.

In the first chapters of Genesis, you can read that God created and then you always can read: “and God saw that it was good”. But then when He created man, He said something different. He looks at man and says, “It is not good…” Genesis 2:18

He didn’t say that man wasn’t good, but that the situation he was in wasn’t good. That is a profound statement that God made, because He says here that He created man to need more than just a relationship with God. He created us to need each other. It wasn’t that God was lacking or not able to be all we needed, but that He designed us to need each other.

God did not create Eve immediately after He said: “…I will make him a helper” Genesis 2:18 But God didn’t forget what He was doing, He knew what Adam needed, but Adam didn’t. So, God brought the animals in front of Adam to make him aware of his need. As Adam began to name them, he began to realize that all the animals had others like them but he had no one to like himself.

God was able to alert to his need as well as to establish the fact in Adam’s mind that nothing on this planet could meet that need except another person. If Eve would have shown up before Adam knew he needed her, he might have marked off the garden as his and not let Eve in.

“So, God caused a deep sleep to fall upon man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place.” Notice that God did not go back to the dust of the earth to create Eve. He took what He needed out of Adam’s side without replacing what He took, and then He finished Eve.

When Adam awoke, a part of him was missing. Part of his spiritual, emotional, and physiological makeup was gone and he sensed it. He was now even more incomplete and alone! When God finally brought Eve to him, Adam called her wo-man!

Sometimes, people think that needing others, or having to depend upon others, is a sign of weakness. Our society teaches us that independence equals strength, when just the opposite is true. It takes great strength to get along with others. You need to have a lot of inward flexibility and plain common sense to stay in relationships; trust God to help you and negotiate the differences. All it takes is a well developed attitude of selfishness to run out and do your own thing. There is a lot of that going on these days.

God created us with a need for others. The need for meaningful relationships was not a result of man’s fall into sin. Our desire for relationships was the plan and will of God. We were designed to need each other before the fall! In fact, we fulfill God’s created order when we recognize that need.

I am not saying that we should smother our relationships; people have been abused or abandoned by others and often carry the pain of old relationships into new ones. They often try to get people in new relationships to make-up for all the evil that has been done to them previously. The true meaning for relationships is not a devouring, damaging, suffocating thing. It is a mutual supportive expression.

People who have been hurt need to learn how to forgive those who have offended them in the past so that they not poison their future relationships with the pain of past ones.

God created us as wonderful beings, as the crown of His creation. He created us with a will and with an intellect. He created us with the power to choose because He didn’t want to force us to serve Him. God wanted us to have the free choice whether or not to walk with Him. But how is God going to let us know how He feels about us? Do you remember how God reached out to Adam and how He communicated His love for Adam? How was God to tell Adam His plans, dreams and purposes for him?

How was God able to tell Adam how much He loved him? How could Adam understand love? That’s why God gave man the ability to love and to need others. Though relationships are NOT God’s primary way of revealing Himself; we need to take it serious. When our relationships are perverted, they will hinder us in our life in everything that we do and desire to accomplish.

How well are your relationships doing? Tell us in the comment section what stood out to you in this post.

You can get my eBook: The Power of Relationships by clicking here



The Mystery of Romance

The Mystery of Romance

by Olga Hermans


Next week it’s Valentine’s Day; do you love the day that promotes love and romance? Do you? I love it! For some people it means cards and chocolate, a dinner and candlelight or a movie and all those wonderful things! I hope that today’s post will boost your romance for Valentine’s day.

There is one thing that many of us don’t know about God and that is that He is romantic. Did that shock you? He is not only spiritual and not only practical; He also is romantic. Where do you think romance came from? God is the author of it. God is the Original Romancer.

God is love! How do you get more love? You spend more time with God and He gives you more love for those around you. Simple isn’t it?

So what is love and romance? Is it a magic formula of bath bubbles and candlelight? Or is it a price threshold that we have to exceed? We all know it’s neither.

Romance is in the mind; it is a mindset. It actually is an atmosphere that we develop and grow in our relationships. Sometimes we confuse romance with the things we have seen in movies or read in books or what people say about it. It is important that we make a distinction between the instructions of romance and the descriptions of romance.

There are many many books with detailed instructions from experts on how relationships work. Instructions work great in assembling your Ikea table, but when it comes to romantic ideas, they tend to be generic, and they may not always “fit” your relationship.

You might prefer totally different things from what your partner likes to do. Maybe you prefer going to the movie and eat a burger or you prefer flannel pyjamas over Victoria Secret pyjamas. Your way of doing things doesn’t make you more or less romantic. No, it just means the classic romantic prescriptions aren’t your “cup of tea.”

If there is one thing, just one thing I could say to couples; newlyweds or marrieds for 40+ years, it doesn’t matter…I would say these four words: “Husbands, love your wives.” Eph. 5:25 There are also numerous verses for wives – for sure. They talk about how we should behave, respect, honor and submit and all the rest of it and we need to take heed to those passages, don’t get me wrong.

BUT…this is the mystery… don’t you love mysteries? It is a huge mystery to me but I know that it’is something divine and godly when a husband loves his wife – and gives himself to her. Nobody really understands it, that’s why it is a mystery, right? But it is very fundamental.

Jesus is like that; He loves us this way. I remember the time when the Holy Spirit wooed me to come to the Lord; it was a wonderful  moment that I will NEVER forget. We love Jesus because He first loved us; and it’s the same way in marriage. We didn’t initiate our love affair with the Lord…He did!

It’s the same in a marriage, when a husband loves his wife first or “initiates” love towards her—consistently—she begins to believe she is loved and she “responds” by returning love! Jesus was the love initiator and we are love responders. Husbands are to be love initiators and wives will be love responders.

Does your marriage need a romance boost? This is it: “husbands…love your wives! Wives…respond to his love”.

I want to give you some romantic ideas to boost your romance that you can apply to your unique marriage relationship.

  1. Romance should be fun, it shouldn’t be stiff and feel uncomfortable. Laugh a little bit and act squirrelly if you like. What’s your cup of tea? My husband and I like to go for some good food; what do you like? Maybe it’s nature, a romantic movie or music or do you like to go shopping together? I like to go to bookstores, my husband likes to go to these fancy kitchen gadgets stores; he likes any gadget, if you ask me…:)
  2. Romance should come from the heart.  “Long walks on the beach” is a common romantic thought but if that bores you, go roller-skating or go for a swim in the lake; do whatever you enjoy and makes you happy.
  3. Romance should not be an obligation; it needs to be a choice. The moment that you think, “I have to do this because it is Valentine’s day”, you’ve lost the romance. Deciding to please your husband or wife in whatever way is romantic.
  4. Don’t underestimate sacred romance; a small romantic touch can go a long way. Romance does not have to be big and expensive. All the little things add up and make great memories.
  5. Romance should be safe; you are ONE. It shouldn’t be boring, but it should be creative and spontaneous. But then again we should not embarrass, gross out, or frighten our spouse.
  6. Romance is something that you give; NEVER use it to manipulate the other. “I did this for you, so you do this for me,” kind of thing. We want to do this to bless our partners.
  7. Wear a scent. Whether it’s an oil or perfume on your body, a pleasant smell attracts. Sensation from Young Living Oils is a wonderfully fragrant, powerfully romantic. 

Is there a tip that you like to share with our readers? Let us know in the comment section!

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The Seven ‘C’s’ Of A Great Marriage

The Seven ‘C’s’ Of A Great Marriage

By Olga Hermans

Good communication involves talking, listening, understanding and taking action. Communication breakdown is the number one problem in marriage. It’s the number one cause of separation and divorce. A lot of people don’t realize it, because they relate their problems to some other area. But if your communication is proper and you have the ability to share openly, you can solve financial problems, and children problems.

If you want to live the life you were born to live; you have to be able to communicate especially with your spouse. It takes an effort on your part to communicate effectively with God and with the people who are around you. If you get your communication right with God, you can have the right communication with the people around you; communication is a process. Having a successful scriptural marriage isn’t an instant, or easy, task. But it can be done.; you just have to make a choice.

Not just by reading a book or this article, but by choosing to put the principles that God has given us to work day by day, moment by moment for the rest of your life.

Here are the seven “C’s” that probably will help you if you put them to work; you can use them over and over again

1. Communicate

Communication is listening and understanding what the other person is trying to express and you do your very best to understand the other person. Communication is also opening up and sharing yourself with another person, even if it means becoming vulnerable. Communication is the basis of any successful relationship.

2. Cover One Another

If you truly love your spouse, you won’t expose, humiliate, or condemn them whenever they make a mistake; you will cover them. 1Peter 4:8.

Wives, you won’t point your finger at your husband and tell on how often he fails to pray or how carnal he is much of the time. And husbands, you won’t point your finger at your wife and tell on how much she nags. No. You’ll cover each other’s weaknesses. Cover each other with love.

3. Cherish One Another

The word cherish there literally means, “To feel or show affection.” Ephesians 5:29 Showing affection can be done by showing gentle and caring emotion with one another. It is the number one need of a wife, but it is also very important for the men.

You know, affection will always give you that emotional thrust that you need when things get rough; you are able to act in love. It is the glue that will bond you together in good times and bad.

4. Comfort One Another

Comfort is a vitally important element that enables us to stand successfully against the devil in every area of our lives. It makes it easier for us to be patient. 2 Cor. 1:3

God wants you to be your spouse’s greatest source of comfort. There is nobody else that can bring him tenderness when they’re hurt. A word of hope when they are discouraged

You’re the one to bring them kind-heartedness when they’re hurt, words of trust when they’re downcast, and friendship when it seems the whole world has forsaken them. If you’ll do it, you will go a long way in giving your spouse the courage to move forward.

5. Compel One Another

Again, just as you’re to be the greatest source of comfort to your spouse, you’re also to be the one God primarily uses to compel them toward love and good works. You are the one who should encourage your spouse to do better in everything; to inspire each other so you won’t grow weary in doing the right things. Gal.6:9

6. Consult With One Another

Agreement is a foundational principle of relationship succes, Amos 3:3. It is impossible to walk together if there is no agreement. When you break that principle; there will be strife and your marriage might eventually fail. So check with each other to see if you can agree.

Your spouse is a gift from God; so don’t misuse it. Your spouse is your balance and the person that enables you to grow and develop in the person you have to become.

7. Cleave One to Another

Never lose sight of the need you have for each other. Gen. 2:24 Always remember that your spouse complements you in a way no one else can. No friend, no child, no parent, and no pet – as wonderful as they may be – can do more for you than your spouse.

So cleave to that one alone. Pursue the marriage relationship with a singular determination that will eventually make you one flesh – not just in concept, but in fact. That only can be done by thorough communication.

There are many jokes about how much women can talk and talk and talk, but it is based on facts I think. Yes, I as a woman have a real need of sharing conversation, not just the chatter that this joke always talks about. This is not a joke; otherwise the need of men for sex is also a joke.

There are different levels of communication; from a cliché level where you only talk about the weather. Then we can have this conversation where we only talk about the facts that we went through that day. Men have a tendency to think in terms of the headlines, while women think more in terms of fine print. We want all the details 🙂

But real communication has a total openness and transparency level; where we experience trust and are able to share completely and freely about anything and everything. This is a level where we don’t hide and cover up, no areas where you are limited or where you feel there’s a touchy subject you can’t talk about.

You need to set aside a time when you can open up and communicate with your mate on a regular basis, whether it’s over coffee in the morning, at breakfast or lunch, in the evening on the back porch or whenever. Identify some place where you can open up and share together freely.

You have to make a choice to decide, because there is much power of agreement in communication. Will you do it? Let us know in the comment section what stood out the most to you and what things do you want to change? Thank you for doing that!

This article was inspired by a book from my former pastor Billy Joe Daugherty “Building Stronger Marriages and Families”

How to Manage Your Happiness by Keeping Yourself Sane

God Does Not Want You To Sacrifice Your Happiness To Keep Somebody Else Happy


How to Manage Your Happiness by Keeping Yourself

By Olga Hermans


Oh, how important it is to keep yourself happy and not be living to please everybody else. How easy we can get in that habit of taking on a false sense of responsibility, thinking that it is our job to keep everybody happy. Of course, it is always good to reach out to others and to try to help as many people as possible.

Do you sense the “but” coming? Too often, though, we get out of balance. We’re doing everything for everybody else, but we’re not taking the time to keep ourselves healthy and happy. God does not want you to sacrifice your happiness to keep somebody else happy.

Your first priority is to take care of yourself. I don’t mean to the extent of being selfish and only me, me, me. That is not what I am saying, but I am saying that you cannot be responsible for someone else’s poor choices. If you do, before long, that person will be controlling you and manipulating you.

I think we all know how that feels. God has not called you to be unhappy simply to keep somebody else happy. Truth is, some people don’t want to be helped; they don’t want to change. They just like the attention. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for somebody like that is not to help them.

I remember the time with my oldest sister, who lives in The Netherlands and is mentally ill. I don’t know how she did it, but she could make me feel so guilty if I wouldn’t do that particular thing that pleased her. A few years ago there was a time that I called her every day at the same time and spoke scriptures into her mind. She so enjoyed it and it looked like she was doing so much better.

Anyway, my husband and I were going to a conference in Dallas. She told me how afraid she was to not have me call her and this and that. So, ok I told her I would call every day. I think the 2nd or 3rd time I called her at our agreed time to hear from the front desk that she had gone to a movie. That was the moment that I started to realize I had to do things differently although she was mentally ill.

Life is too short to go through it being controlled and manipulated by people who refuse to make good choices on their own. You are not responsible for everybody else’s happiness. If people are controlling you, it’s not their fault; it’s your fault. You must learn to set some boundaries. Quit allowing them to call you at all hours of the day and night to dump their problems on you.

Many people are all upset, frustrated and discouraged because they’ve made a wrong choice of taking on way too much responsibility for somebody close to them who won’t do what is right. They carry a heavy load, trying to keep someone else happy.

You can be free from all that if you will just give those people to God. Quit trying to be the keeper of the universe. That is not your job. Of course, is not easy at first. My decision towards my sister was very hard on me, but I had to do it. I am not talking about selfish or self-centeredness. We should be givers and care for each other. But there is a big difference between giving and allowing somebody to control you and make you feel guilty until you do what they want.

To reduce stress, be aware of high-maintenance people in your life. Some people are almost impossible to keep happy. Maybe this is a turning point for you. If you have been living to please everybody else, or constantly trying to fix everything, rid yourself of that false sense of responsibility. Yes, be kind and compassionate and yes you should reach out to others. It’s like the saying that says: “you can’t help anybody who won’t help themselves”.

You gotta run your race and not let people control you and manipulate you; you will not only have less stress and more time and energy, but I also believe you will be much happier, and you will be free to fulfill the best plan that God has for you.

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What it Means to Be a Father

We Live In An Hour When Godly Men, Husbands, and Fathers Must Take A Stand For Truth And Righteousness

What it Means to Be a Father

by Olga Hermans


The first Father’s Day was celebrated more than 100 years ago on June, 1910. The idea originated from a Spokane, Washington resident named Sonora Dodd who was inspired by a church sermon about Mother’s Day (created in 1907). Ms.Dodd wanted to create a special to honor her father, William Jackson Smart, a Civil Wat veteran who raised 6 children alone. Father’s Day is now celebrated in June because it was the birth month of William Smart. While a presidential proclamation in 1966 by President Lyndon B.Johnson honored fathers on the third Sunday of June, it was President Richard Nixon who signed the public law in 1972 that made Father’s Day a permanent holiday.

Men should take the spiritual leadership in the home

We live in an hour when godly men, husbands and fathers must take a stand for truth and righteousness. When men have a relationship with Jesus, that is vibrant and alive, they will rise up to be the spiritual leaders in their homes. They will have the spiritual strength they need.

Whether the family goes to church or not shouldn’t be the wife’s decision. I love it when my husband takes that role seriously. He is very serious in setting the example of what is important in our family.

Both of us weren’t raised in a Christian family; we never saw our parents reading the bible or pray for us. Men should set the example in bible reading in the home and not only at Christmas time. Thank God it is done then, but it needs to happen more than once a year.

I would like to challenge men to spend as much time reading the bible in the family as they watch the news. People often say, “We don’t have time.” Here is an interesting research stat: “If the father is the first to become a Christian in a household, there is a 93% probability that everyone in the household will follow. If the mother is the first to become a Christian in a household, there is a 17% probability that everyone in the household will follow”.

It is all a matter of priority. It’s the family who prays together who stays together. It is very humbling for men to say, “Let’s pray together.” It’s good for the ego! I love it when my husband calls us together to have our devotions and to pray for each other.

Most of the problems we are facing in the Western world go back to a default by Christian parents in raising their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. When parents don’t train their children in the way they should go, in the next generation there’s even more secularism and godlessness.

Men should also be the ones to see that goals are established for the family. Businessmen can chart what they are targeting for in the future. Likewise, they should chart to target to see their children serving God 25 years from now.

What Dads Love To Do With Their Kids

Dads and their Babies

  • Have you seen these daddies who hold their babies close to them to make them feel loved and secure?
  • They let babies touch their face as they make funny faces. Babies like faces that show lots of expression.

Dads and their Toddlers
(2- to 3-Year-Olds)

  • Dads love to provide safe places where their toddler can play and run — inside and outside.
  • They play ball with their toddler. Teach them to catch, throw and kick a ball in age-appropriate ways.

Dads and their 4- to 6 Year-Olds

  • During meals, ask your child what the best thing about his day was. Answer the question yourself in return.
  • Talk to your child about his or her dreams and share your own dreams. Children also like to hear what dreams their parents had when they were children (“I wanted to grow up and become a….”).

Dads and their 7- to 12-Year-Olds

  • Play board games with your child.
  • Be physically active with your child. Go for a walk together or play basketball or catch.

Dads and their Teenagers (13- to 18-Year-Olds)

  • Attend your teenager’s extracurricular activities (sports, plays, club activities, etc.). If you can’t be physically present at the event, give your teenager a call before or after the event to show your support.
  • One of the most important choices dads make is making the decision on Driver’s Education for their son or daughter. This can be a very stressful task; here is where you can turn. Driver’s Ed in a Box has a proven track record of producing collision-free drivers. They guarantee it!
    And, you can do it on your schedule – during your free time

Fun Facts about Father’s Day

The Breadwinner:

  • 10% of working dads had a spouse/significant other become unemployed in the last 12 months
  • 42% of dads are sole Providers in their households
  • 1 out of 10 working dads have taken a 2nd job in the last 12 months
  • 63% of dads work over 40 hours each week.
  • 3 out of 10 working dads have to take work home more than 5 days a week.
  • 30% of dads bring work home on the weekends
  • 37% of dads spend 2 hours or less a day with their children
  • 35% of dads say they’ve missed 2 or more significant events in ther child’s life.

Man of the House: Married Fathers:

  • In 2010, 25,3 Million Fathers were part of married couple families with children under 18 years old
  • 22% were raising 3 or more children under 18 years old in their household
  • 3% were raising 3 or more children under 18 years old in someone else’s home.
  • In 2010 there were 287.000 children with married stay-at-home dads.
  • 154.000 of the children were under 15 years old

Single Fathers

  • In 2010 there were 1.8 Million Single Fathers.
  • 15% of single parents were men
  • 9% were raising 3 or more children under 18 years of age
  • 46% divorced, 30% never married, 19% seperated, 6% widowed, 1% other
  • 61% had a family income of less then $50.000,-

Enjoy this hysterical Father’s Day parody tribute to dads!
Share this with your favorite dad today!
Video done by Church On The Move.

How Do You Know You Are Ready for Marriage?

How Do You Know You Are Ready for Marriage?

by Olga Hermans





You are ready for marriage when you choose to understand God’s plans and purposes for marriage. Many people aren’t ready for marriage, because they’ve never understood God’s plans and purposes. It definitely is a choice to be willing to understand and gain knowledge or to just ignore the things that you need to know before you get married. How can you help me make the right choice in marriage partner is very often a question that singles ask. What they are saying is that they desire to have God’s choice marriage for their life. Life is about choices and making decisons that matter.

You’re ready for marriage when you’re mature enough and willing to assume the responsibilities of being a husband, a wife, a father, or a mother.

You’re  ready to get married when you’re ready to settle down with one person for the rest of your life. You should think in terms of a 75-year contract. When you’re ready to sign in blood with your life, you’re ready for marriage.

You’re ready for marriage when you’re no longer depending upon your family or relatives to support you. Thank God for support that may come, but you shouldn’t depend on it when you’re going into a marriage union. You need to fly with your own wings. Many people want to get married, but they set themselves up for difficulties by their financial circumstances.

You are ready to get married when you are ready to give love and to be loved. Many couples get married in lust and the husband and wife have never learned to really love one another. When they say, “I don’t love you anymore,” what they are really saying is, “I don’t lust after you anymore.” The lust is gone, so there is no reason to stay in the relationship. But when that love is self-giving, kind, and tenderhearted, then you’re ready for marriage, because regardless of circumstances, you’ll keep on loving.

If you’re married and you’ve missed some of these foundational stones, you must work at it. You must desire to the point that your desire is translated into effort to rebuild the foundations in your marriage, but they don’t translate the desire into effort.

My husband and I weren’t raised in a Christian family, as of now we are still the only Christians on both sides. Because of our past and our different backgrounds we went through some very rough place in our marriage. All thanks to God, we came out on top and were able to raise our children with Christian values and principles.

You need to take time to talk about ways to improve and strengthen your home. Learn to ask: “How can I help you? What can I do?” Open yourself up to listen, talk, and communicate. You can get more knowledge, although I don’t think it’s always the issue of getting more information. I think people have enough information in many cases if they’ll only would communicate it with each other.

To be ready for marriage, you need to be healed of past hurts. You cannot carry grudges into a marriage and family relationship and expect the family to keep growing. If you’re bitter at your children, the children are bitter at the parents, or the husband and wife are bitter at each other, you need to forgive and release one another. If you don’t, when an argument or strife comes and your blood pressure goes up, you’ll pull out your list and go through all the things that have happened in the last 20 years or so!

You need to have a list-burning ceremony! Send the offenses up in smoke! Burn them and determine, “I am going to forgive myself, forgive my mate, and forgive my children.

There is a NEW Beginning.

When two born-again believers come together in marriage before God, in His eyes, they are cleansed. They are as clean before the Lord as Adam and Eve were in the Garden before they sinned, no matter what their past has been.

Maybe you’ve had a broken marriage and you’ve remarried. There’s cleansing and forgiveness for failures that have been committed in the past, whether you have deliberately and unknowingly failed in marriage God can give you knowledge and understanding. He can give you a marriage in wholeness and bring into your marriage the power that He plans.

You can make a choice to start over today right where you are with a fresh mental and spiritual attitude, by forgetting those things which are behind.

You can start by obeying 2 Chon.7:14: Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.

This means, for a fresh start and for healing in your marriage and family, you need to:

  1. Humble yourself
  2. Pray and seek God’s face.
  3. Turn from your wicked ways.

Then God will hear you, He will forgive your sin, and He will heal your marriage and family.

To be completely sure about the new beginning, obey the command of Isaiah 60:1 (Amp): ARISE [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you–rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you!

Arise from the circumstances in which you find yourself. You can rise above them, and God will meet your every need. He wants your marriage healed. It’s not too late for your marriage. It’s never too late. God’s Word is the same yesterday, today and forever. Hebr.13:8

Post/Tweet this: You are ready to get married when you are ready to give love and to be loved #TheDailyChoice

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Top 10 Parenting Choices

Succesful Marriages Are Made Up Of Successful Individuals Who Get Together


Is there something like the 10 commandments for parents? YES! And if you apply them to your life, that means if they are obeyed, they will improve your relationship with your children.

We can improve our relationship with our children by blessing them and by setting standards, rules and values for them. When was the last time you took a little child in your arms and blessed them just as Jesus took them in His arms and blessed them?

1. You gotta start with yourself

As a parent, you need to be an example to your children; they need something they want to follow. If you make rules and regulations that you don’t follow yourself, you are a bad example to them. Be a good example for them and they will follow you.


2.Your relationship with your children should be more important than the rules.

Jesus said He didn’t come to do away with the law, but He came to fulfill the law (Matt.5:17), so don’t do away with the boundaries, rules and regulations, because they’re necessary. But your priority should be to love your children all the way and build a relationship with them.

3. Teach your children to live by faith.

Impart faith into them. Deut 6:5-9 talks about how we should talk about the Word with our children in everything that we do; when we sit down, when we go for a walk and as we do things and go around the house and do the normal everyday things. They get so used to hearing the Word for every situation that they don’t know any better than knowing that the Word has a solution to everything and that is how it should be.

4. You need to learn to listen to them.

Most parents have to learn this, because the conversation is on a totally different level, but it is one of those necessary things if you want to build a relationship with your children. James 1:19 says … let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. It takes effort to listen to children and teenagers, to get down on their level, to be able to relate to them and really listen to what is really going on in their life.

5. Spend time with you children, they love you for it!

It is not lost time when we spend time with our children, although it can feel that way at times. When you spend time wuth your children, you are investing time and it is quality time. I remember those times when our children were toddlers  and that I thought it was not that important. I always thought there were so many other important things to do; I am glad that I came to the realization that playing with them on their level was as important as having a good conversation with a friend.

Sometimes parents think they’re spending time with the children when they go home and turn on the TV. That’s not quality time.  Quality time is when you pay individual attention to your children, sharing with them and listening to them.

If you will build a relationship with them when they are small, when they get older, they’ll want to have time with you; you can become best friends if you really want to work on it.

How do we save people from getting on drugs and alcohol?  If the deepest need of their life is met, especially when they are small, they won’t have these needs. They won’t be vulnerable to those things. When basic needs are not met, people search in every avenue they can.

In a study that took place on the West Coast with prostitutes, it was discovered that over 95% of them came from families where there was no positive father image. What were they seeking in prostitution? A craving for what they never received at home.

Where there has been a void, there’s a greater tendency to become involved in homosexuality. For the greatest percentage of the young boys involved in homosexuality, either there was an absentee father or a father who lacked spiritual fortitude.

The sins of the fathers, the Bible says, will be visited to the third and fourth generation. When there is a breakdown in the family, it doesn’t just affect the fathers. It can affect four generations of families. Are you beginning to see the importance of letting the Lord build our marriages and homes?

6. You have to acknowledge your faults as parents.

James 5:16 says; “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed…” Be quick to humble yourself and ask forgiveness of your children when you’ve made a mistake. It will get easier after your first time. This has not always been easy for me, because I was afraid that my children would reject me, but the opposite is true. 

7. Keep a sense of humor at all times.

A good laugh will set you free from pent-up emotions. Our kids are grown up now, but there are moments that we realize we need to relax and have a good laugh, because laughter is like medicine.

8. Treat your children equally.

Children are all different, and as parents, we should never compare them. Your children should never feel that one of them is better than the other. You should let them know that there are different rules for different ages, but they should sense that you love them and respect them the same.

9. You need to discipline your children.

My husband and I were never really good at this one, but it is necessary. It is very important that after you discipline your children, you love on them. We all have heard about “Super Nanny” and “the time out treatment“. Well, it works!

10. Know when it is time to let them go.

Sometimes parents tend to overprotect their children. Sometimes parents feel like they’ve got to be at every place their children are, which is a spirit of fear. There is a point where you have to let go and trust God, believing that the training you have instilled in them will preserve them and keep them.

It is very important that you pray and intercede for your children. I know of many examples where parents have either seen in the spirit or were quickened by the Spirit to pray for their children. Because of prayer the enemy was stopped from destroying or coming against their lives.

We are living in dangerous and uncertain times and it is easy to find ourselves feeling afraid. There is nothing the enemy enjoys more than seeing us in fear. But we do not need to be afraid. God knows what lies ahead in these last days, and He has everything we need to see us through to victory over the enemy.

We are at war with the enemy like never before. Just because we are Christians doesn’t mean that God’s protection is automatic. Like all the other promises of God, we must exercise our faith in order to walk in the fullness of those promises. Now is the time to stand firm on God’s Word and start protecting your family today!

What do you do when you purposefully want to spend time with your family?

Post/Tweet this: As parents we need to bless our children just as Jesus took them up in His arms and blessed them #TheDailyChoice

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Characteristics of Friendship – What It Takes to Be a True Friend

Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. — G. Randolf

We are all in need of great friends, isn’t it? We have friends that we have polite chats with, and then there are our best friends. They’re the people who root for you, no matter what. You tell them your deepest, darkest secrets, and instead of heading for the door, they stick around and your bond with them grows stronger.

My friend and my daughter has a blog about friendship and I asked her to be our guest today with one of her posts. I truly hope you enjoy it as much as I did; you can go over to her blog and let her know @ Frienship Spice; don’t forget to let us know here on the Choice Driven Life as well, ok?

Characteristics of Friendship –
What It Takes to Be a True Friend

by Josephine Hermans

Best Friends

EVERYBODY wants a true friend. Friendship makes the world go ’round. If it weren’t for friends we’d all be a bunch of lonely people living for ouselves, no one to give to, no one to look out for, no one to share memories with, not even anyone to talk to. Friendship gives us purpose. If it wasn’t for people around us, we would be living out of ourself and living for ourself, how boring is that. So here are a few characteristics that make up a true friendship. A friendship you need to invest in, and which you can expect to receive from.

* Balance.
A friendship is a two-way street. The responsibility of a true friendship cannot lie heavier on one side than the other. You cannot keep receiving without giving.  You cannot keep giving without receiving. We are not tallying up brownie points here, but there does need to be give-and-take mentality. If there is no balance, the friendship won’t last long. Meet in the middle. Don’t expect your friend to always call you, to always come to your knick of the woods, to hang out at your house. Initially at the start of a friendship you may see yourself or someone else investing more into the friendship, but eventually it will need to balance out. There needs to be a balance so that each person feels free to share, enjoy, and be themselves as they both have the same amount of “stock” in the relationship. If there is no balance, you or the other may find yourself holding back, holding grudges, or even having bitterness.

* Loyalty.
Loyalty provides and instills trust in a relationship. Once loyalty has been proven, trust is given to the other person. Once you have sacrificed something in order to stay loyal to the friendship, a deeper connection is released. A connection of trust in which both persons are able to lay down barriers or walls and feel free to be themselves or show secrets, because a more safe environment is created. Also, an appreciation for the sacrifice and in turn the friendship is established which creates a stronger bond.

* Honesty.
Honesty is needed for several reasons. First of all, you cannot build anything on lies, especially not a true friendship or any sort of relationship. Honesty about who you are, where you come from, what you believe, what you stand for are all important aspects that give a true picture of who you are to your friend. Honesty is also needed in times when “tough love” is needed.  As a true friend, you are in a position to help steer the direction of your friends’ life, and being honest about certain decisions your friend is making can help save them a bad investment, a bad relationship, a bad career choice or even saving them from embarrassment!  The opinions of true friends are taken in deep regard, so be honest about your opinions instead of necessarily telling your friend what you think they want to hear.

* Common interests.
I have seen pairs of friends who don’t look like they “should” be best friends, but in reality, they have common interests and common grounds for why they like to spend time with each other.  You can have friends that have different political beliefs, religious beliefs, different interests, but a true friend has a common ground that you respect and therefore you want to give this person a higher position of influence in your life. You believe in what they believe. They are at a place you want to be in life. They have values you appreciate and want to have in your own life. Common interests can also be certain hobbies you have, like volunteering, sports, music, travelling, or whatever. If one of you wants to spend most of their time cooking at home and adventuring in the kitchen, and the other much prefers to go out and be around people, it can become a point of tension which will create a limit on the friendship. Therefore, common interests and activities are needed.

* Time.
True friendship isn’t established overnight. Time is needed to get to know each other, create memories, and share life experiences which all draw friends closer to each other and create a closer bond. Both people involved need to want to invest time to see each other, do activities together, drinking coffee, talking, travelling, shopping, getting to know their family etc. to get to understand your friend. The time you spend together and get to know each other, the more you appreciate their opinions and the more you become a “go-to” friend for doing fun things, or calling up when honest advice is needed.

SoooO,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Many People Will Walk
,,,(,,,,),,,,,Oooo,,,,,In & Out Of Your Life,
,,,,,,(,,,,,,,(,,,,),,,,, But Only Real True? Friends,
,,,,,_),,,,,,,),,/,,,,,, Will Leave Footprints In Your Heart
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(_/,,,,,,,, & Memories That You Will Hold Locked Inside Forever

Post/Tweet this: Many People Will Walk In & Out Of Your Life, But Only Real True Friends, Will Leave Footprints In Your Heart. #TheDailyChoice

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