The Mystery of Romance

The Mystery of Romance

by Olga Hermans


Next week it’s Valentine’s Day; do you love the day that promotes love and romance? Do you? I love it! For some people it means cards and chocolate, a dinner and candlelight or a movie and all those wonderful things! I hope that today’s post will boost your romance for Valentine’s day.

There is one thing that many of us don’t know about God and that is that He is romantic. Did that shock you? He is not only spiritual and not only practical; He also is romantic. Where do you think romance came from? God is the author of it. God is the Original Romancer.

God is love! How do you get more love? You spend more time with God and He gives you more love for those around you. Simple isn’t it?

So what is love and romance? Is it a magic formula of bath bubbles and candlelight? Or is it a price threshold that we have to exceed? We all know it’s neither.

Romance is in the mind; it is a mindset. It actually is an atmosphere that we develop and grow in our relationships. Sometimes we confuse romance with the things we have seen in movies or read in books or what people say about it. It is important that we make a distinction between the instructions of romance and the descriptions of romance.

There are many many books with detailed instructions from experts on how relationships work. Instructions work great in assembling your Ikea table, but when it comes to romantic ideas, they tend to be generic, and they may not always “fit” your relationship.

You might prefer totally different things from what your partner likes to do. Maybe you prefer going to the movie and eat a burger or you prefer flannel pyjamas over Victoria Secret pyjamas. Your way of doing things doesn’t make you more or less romantic. No, it just means the classic romantic prescriptions aren’t your “cup of tea.”

If there is one thing, just one thing I could say to couples; newlyweds or marrieds for 40+ years, it doesn’t matter…I would say these four words: “Husbands, love your wives.” Eph. 5:25 There are also numerous verses for wives – for sure. They talk about how we should behave, respect, honor and submit and all the rest of it and we need to take heed to those passages, don’t get me wrong.

BUT…this is the mystery… don’t you love mysteries? It is a huge mystery to me but I know that it’is something divine and godly when a husband loves his wife – and gives himself to her. Nobody really understands it, that’s why it is a mystery, right? But it is very fundamental.

Jesus is like that; He loves us this way. I remember the time when the Holy Spirit wooed me to come to the Lord; it was a wonderful  moment that I will NEVER forget. We love Jesus because He first loved us; and it’s the same way in marriage. We didn’t initiate our love affair with the Lord…He did!

It’s the same in a marriage, when a husband loves his wife first or “initiates” love towards her—consistently—she begins to believe she is loved and she “responds” by returning love! Jesus was the love initiator and we are love responders. Husbands are to be love initiators and wives will be love responders.

Does your marriage need a romance boost? This is it: “husbands…love your wives! Wives…respond to his love”.

I want to give you some romantic ideas to boost your romance that you can apply to your unique marriage relationship.

  1. Romance should be fun, it shouldn’t be stiff and feel uncomfortable. Laugh a little bit and act squirrelly if you like. What’s your cup of tea? My husband and I like to go for some good food; what do you like? Maybe it’s nature, a romantic movie or music or do you like to go shopping together? I like to go to bookstores, my husband likes to go to these fancy kitchen gadgets stores; he likes any gadget, if you ask me…:)
  2. Romance should come from the heart.  “Long walks on the beach” is a common romantic thought but if that bores you, go roller-skating or go for a swim in the lake; do whatever you enjoy and makes you happy.
  3. Romance should not be an obligation; it needs to be a choice. The moment that you think, “I have to do this because it is Valentine’s day”, you’ve lost the romance. Deciding to please your husband or wife in whatever way is romantic.
  4. Don’t underestimate sacred romance; a small romantic touch can go a long way. Romance does not have to be big and expensive. All the little things add up and make great memories.
  5. Romance should be safe; you are ONE. It shouldn’t be boring, but it should be creative and spontaneous. But then again we should not embarrass, gross out, or frighten our spouse.
  6. Romance is something that you give; NEVER use it to manipulate the other. “I did this for you, so you do this for me,” kind of thing. We want to do this to bless our partners.
  7. Wear a scent. Whether it’s an oil or perfume on your body, a pleasant smell attracts. Sensation from Young Living Oils is a wonderfully fragrant, powerfully romantic. 

Is there a tip that you like to share with our readers? Let us know in the comment section!

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  1. Hi Olga… Great article! “God certainly is Love.” All the little things do in fact add up with love and romance…Thank you Olga for sharing! …Hughie 🙂

  2. I love your insights to romance…your 7 tips are wonderful! Taking notes….Ha!

  3. Hi Olga, Thanks for sharing some wonderful tips on romance and reminding us we are created through love. In the end it is the most important and really only positive action!

  4. Olga, what a beautiful article. Your writing is so refreshing and this take that you have on romance really gets us thinking about what is really important here. Thanks for the romantic ideas!!

  5. I love your ideas! I’ve never been much into Valentine’s Day but it’s bc I tell my man I feel close and blessed all the time with dates, adventures and time with him! With that though- maybe this year I’ll go one more step and make the day a time to write out all the reasons I am thankful for him in my life!

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