How You Can Learn to Love Yourself



How You Can Learn to Love Yourself


You and I are uniquely designed for such a time as this; for a specific purpose. We all have different personalities, gifts, skills, talents, preferences and experiences. God never intended for us to be a clone of someone else. We should embrace, love and accept the masterpiece He has created each of us to be.

We all remember the experiences from when we grew up from childhood into adulthood as we go through different experiences; some are positive and some are negative. Apart from how or why we go through some of these experiences; God can use them to our benefit.

These experiences help to shape and mold us into the people that we become. As we grow and develop as individuals, we gain a concept of who we are and what we were created to do and achieve. Gaining a concept of who we are and loving ourselves unconditionally empower us to live an authentic lifestyle.

Embrace Who You Are

We must appreciate ourselves. Although it may not be a reality for some, when we look in the mirror, we should see one of the best people we know. It is important that we know ourselves better than we know anyone else, all our flaws included and be able to see ourselves as an unique and beautiful individual, empowered by God to succeed in every area of our lives.

We were wonderfully made by a loving God who does all things well. He purposely made us for a time such as this. Though others may resemble you and play some of the same roles as you, there is only one you; and only you can do what you have been created to do.

Knowing and Loving Who We Are

When we know and when we love ourselves as we are gives us the ability to live freely. When we take the time to appreciate the gifts and the abilities placed within us, we can appreciate the gifts and talents of others.

Taking the time to discover and develop the things that we are good at and interested in helps to nurture and cultivate our abilities so that we are always striving to be the best we can be for ourselves as well as for others.

Sometimes we run into challenges as we try to embrace our self image on our journey to self-realization. I dealt with a lot of insecurities when I was young; I still remember how uncertain I was in some situations. It almost prevented me from discovering the life that I was born  to live and to know God’s plan for my life.

I was always seeking after the approval of others; as I learned to walk in the image of Christ and see myself the way God sees me, I started to overcome many obstacles step by step.

While we need to be able to relate to others and enjoy their company, we also must learn to do so without being oppressed by their opinions. We never should be in bondage to other people, because that is what it is.

I am so glad that God showed me a way out; He will do the same for you. Although there are times when it tries to return; you and I need to remind ourselves that we are free. Through all this self-realization and acceptance, I was able to make a quality decision.

Either I was going to remain the insecure person I had been for years, or I was going to be insecure in who I was. I chose the latter, and once I started on my new journey toward self-acceptance and self-love, I began to focus on fulfilling my God-given purpose.

Eliminate Being Critical

When we are critical or when we are overly critical this means that we have a negative outlook on life. We tend to look at others and everything with fault finding, harsh accusations, humiliating attitudes and a tendency to unfairly judge ourselves as well as others.

Critical people tend to look down on everyone in a negative way in an attempt to build themselves up. The word critical actually means to find fault or to judge with severity, often times way too fast.

Being critical is opposite to God’s nature. He does not focus on the negative aspects of anyone and anything. He is love, and His very nature is to see the best in everyone and every situation. Therefore, we should not be quick to find fault, but to believe the best.

We do not have to be naive and unrealistic. However we can choose to see things from a positive perspective that agrees with God.

When we begin to read the Bible on a regular basis and understand God’s character, our thoughts will agree with Him. We will begin to understand that if we are to walk with God, we must agree with His plan. God can, and will, use everything He has placed on the inside of us for a specific purpose.

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You Can Do It



You Can Do It

by Olga Hermans

Hi everybody! I am in a group on Facebook which is called “You Can Do It”; it is a Social Media group with Kim Garst. She called it this way, because many of us still think that there are so many things that we can’t do. BUT!!! The truth is that we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us, which means that we are anointed to do ALL things that come our way.

I love the way the Message Bible brings it across to us “Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am”. Php 4:13. You need to know that you can do whatever you need to do in life through Christ, which is the anointing on your life. In other words, when you like to discover the life you were born to live, you can handle whatever life hands to you.

People have taken this verse so much out of context that they don’t think about the real meaning any more. It does not mean that I can do anything I want to do, or that I can do anything someone else does. It means that I am able to do whatever God assigns to you and me, because I am gifted that way.

I wonder, do you believe you can do whatever you need to do in life? Or are there certain things that trigger dread, fear, or cause you to say, I could never do that!” when you think about them? Are you facing a serious unexpected illness or maybe a sudden death of a loved one, or maybe you need to go on a strict diet because your life depends on it like my friend Carl? Or maybe you are getting a second job because of a foreclosure or moving to a different country because of your husband’s job. What about if your husband would leave the country because of the army?

Most people have some kind of circumstance that they think is totally impossible for them; something that they aren’t sure of they can handle. But the fact of the matter is, while you might not welcome certain situations in your life or they seem too difficult and too out of reach for you; you need to know that you can do it!! You can do whatever you need to do in life.

God guarantees us the strength for everything we need to do because He Himself empowers us to do it. Let me give you a little secret here; we cannot do anything we want to do because we are strong enough, smart enough, or hard working enough. That’s not it. In fact, it leaves no room at all for our human effort or striving of any kind. The secret to being able to do what we need to do is realizing that we cannot do it alone.

For some reason, we often fail to use our faith to believe and act on that truth. Instead, we think we have to do it all and, forgetting that the power of Christ (the anointing) works through us, we are defeated before we even begin.

So many people say things like, “This is too hard. I just can’t do this. It’s too much for me.” Nothing is too difficult for you if God is leading you to do it. Stir up that passion that is on the inside of you, come out of your comfort zone and make steps to do it. You’ll see that everything will get easier and easier with every step that you take.

For example, I know that God wants me to take care of my body. I need to eat well and I need to do some exercise as well. I am a T-Tapper, but there are days that I don’t want to T-Tapp, I don’t feel like it and I know that my body doesn’t want to do it. So, I need to stir myself up and become as passionate as possible to do those exercises. Everybody who knows Teresa Tapp knows that she ALWAYS says: “YES, YOU CAN!”  whatever it is for you, keep telling yourself “You can do it though Christ who infuses you with strength”. Ampl.

Our attitude towards unpleasant things is a vital part for going through them successfully. God always uses things for our spiritual growth. Another example, He may use a grumpy person to help us become more patient. God did not cause the person to be grumpy, but neither does He remove them from our life when we would ask Him to do that. Instead, He uses them to change us.

Remember, God is always after our heart, our motives for why we want certain things, and the reason why we do certain things. Actually, most of our trials in life are the result of someone else’s failure and ignorance or sin and, of course we pray for God to change them. Our prayers open the door for God to work in that particular situation, but God will never go against the free will of people to answer a prayer.

I like to encourage you today to fill up your heart with faith-filled reasons that you can do what you need to do. Stop looking at all your weaknesses because you can do it in the anointing that has been given to you.

Always remember that apart from Jesus you can do nothing. John 15:5, but in Him you can do it. Phil.4:13

Which “I cannot do that” belief in your life do you need to exchange for an “I can”? That is what The Choice Driven Life is all about!!

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Get A Grip on Your Thought Life

Get A Grip on Your Thought Life

by Olga Hermans


Our thought life can cause us to have certain attitudes without even realizing it. They have an effect on our relationships and they even determine how productive we will be during the day; they have a huge impact on the overall quality of our lives.

What does that tell us? It tells us that we need to come to grips with our thought life. Let’s say, you desire to start your business or maybe you desire to improve your health and you start to think about it and talk about it with your best friends; the moment will come that you will begin to take steps towards it.

Or maybe life is putting you in a place that you least expected and doors swing open for you; doors that you had never expected to be opened for you. But there is that thought that comes up that whenever God asks me to do something new, it is usually something I don’t think I can do and the battle in my mind begins.

I know God always has bigger plans for us than we have for ourselves and I know that He will always back me up and will always be there for me.  It doesn’t matter how much time has passed or what kind of mistakes you have made, the vision God has given you is still in you and it is time to pursue it. If you are willing to pursue your dreams, nothing can keep them from coming to pass!

Success in every aspect of life begins with a thought; so does failure. If you think you cannot do or accomplish something, chances are you will not be able to. That is how much influence your thoughts have over you.

James Allen said: “All that man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.” The way we think is far more powerful than we often realize and our thoughts impact every aspect of our existence, either positively or negatively.

It feels so real to us what we think, even if it is not true at all. If we think it is true, we respond and act as though it is. Our thoughts are so important that we definitely need to get a grip on them and take charge over them. You and I are the managers of our life and we need to take responsibility; it all starts in our thought life.

We need to make quality choices when we want to discover the life we were born to live, because our thoughts affect our relationships, our self-image, our finances, our health and our productivity in whatever we are doing.

Proverbs 23:7 makes it very clear to us that there is a connection between our thoughts and the rest of our lives. We become what we think. It is very crucial for us to think properly. Thoughts are powerful; they have creative ability. If our thoughts are going to affect what we become (and they will), then we need to get a grip on them and thinking the right thoughts should be a high priority in our lives.

It is so sad that many people believe things that simply are not true. I think we all know people that think they have no worth and value because people have treated them in a way that made them feel worthless and devalued.

I had a sister who fought these thoughts and died two years ago of anorexia; she always compared herself to our older sister and battled to even want to live. Anorexia is a form of slow suicide. It was very, very sad. The Bible makes it very clear that we are valuable to God.

When we have negative thoughts, we end up with negative results. But positive thoughts open the door for God to work in our lives. If we think we are unable to do certain things, we will never do that particular thing even though God’s Word says that we can do anything God asks us to do because of His ability in us. Phil.4:13. Our thoughts are that powerful.

We must all change our thinking before our lives will change. Rom.12:2 God has good plans for us, but we will not experience them if we cling to our old ways of thinking. Our minds must go through a process of renewal in order to experience God’s plan for us.

It is impossible to change our lives unless and until we change our thoughts. Your mind can be a junkyard or a treasure chest, and you alone have the ability to choose what it will be. You can make it one or the other by deciding whether you will think thoughts that are negative, cheap and dirty or thoughts that are uplifting and positive.

You need to get a grip on your thoughts if you sincerely want to be different from how you are now or if you want some aspect of your life to be different. There is no other way to ignite your life with passion and steer it in the right direction.

You alone are in charge of your mind; I believe that with God’s help you will break away from the chains of bondage; you can change your mind, and as you do, you can change your life. God does not control us. He guides us in what is right. Don’t poison your life with wrong thought patterns, but instead take action and you will experience a great improvement in every area of your life. Will you do it; will you make the choice to get a grip on your thought life? Please let me know by leaving a comment; thanks for doing so!

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How to Have a Thought-Life You Can Be Proud Of

Our Mind Can Be Like Those Old Typewriters

How to Have a Thought-life You Can Be Proud Of

by Olga Hermans


In Deut 30:19, God says, “I have set before you life and death, blessing and curses; therefore choose life.” He gives us an option, but He wants us to do the choosing.  A choice often means we can go the easy way or the hard way.  We can go the way we feel like going or we can go the way we know is right. To make a right and wise choice means we will probably have to discipline ourselves to do something we don’t feel like doing, but know is best.

As the Bible tells us, discipline doesn’t bring immediate joy, but it does bring lasting joy later on. The enemy is always out to destroy us and he often tries to do that by influencing us to make bad choices – to choose to do what feels good or is easy now, instead of what will be beneficial in the long run.

These choices may temporarily satisfy the flesh, but they don’t please God or satisfy us permanently. We should discipline ourselves to make good choices that honor God and His Word. God encourages His children to walk in the Spirit and the way we do that is by choosing to take time to listen to the Holy Spirit and do what we know is right even if it doesn’t feel good.

We’ve all known or know a time when we were in a disagreement with somebody and the air was filled with tension. You can choose to apologize and do what will restore peace or you can choose to stay angry and wait for the other to apologize; we have all been there.

So, what is more important? To be right or to choose for peace? The answer is that it is the right thing to make peace and if we don’t, we are sinning. God is our vindicator and if we need to be shown to be in the right, He will take care of that, but our part is to honor Him by doing what we know is right according to His Word. God can always work out the details but we need to make that quality choice to keep the peace.

You have to realize now more than anything that making right choices is the key to a happy life, and keeping our minds on right things is another one. Don’t let your mind wander around and do whatever it pleases. We have been given the spirit of discipline and self-control. You have been given a sound mind.

I love to sit beside my husband when we are riding down the road; I like to look out of the passenger side window while my husband is driving. He would give a smile if he would be reading this :), but my mind can go off on a drift or wander off onto something that is totally worthless and will not produce anything good in my life.

That doesn’t make me a bad person; it just means I have a choice to make. Will I be lazy and let it “drift”, or will I once again discipline myself to stop thinking that wrong thought and find something good and noble to think about?

I once heard an analogy that someone made; she said our mind can be like those old typewriters. We are focussing on something and our mind starts to wander away from us just like that handle on the typerwriter. I know this typewriter probably tells you my age more than anything else, but, when you start typing, that handle would go all the way to the right and you had to push it back to start e new line.

That is how our mind works, we are in a conversation or something, or reading a book or whatever we do and our mind wanders off…outside the window and we have to push it back just like that old typewriter. Do you get the picture?

My mind can drift when I am in a conversation with my husband, but it also happens when others are speaking and what they are saying really isn’t that interesting to me. It seems to be important to them, but it isn’t to me. My mind starts to drift to thoughts like: “I really have some more important things to do. Or, this is boring… or this goes way too far, I cannot believe this.” Things like that? Oh, you ever thought those things?

Then suddenly a message from my pastor or somebody comes up that we have to treat other people the way we like to be treated. Ouch!! We need to make the other person feel valuable, because they are. So, I am faced with a choice: do I walk in love and show respect for the person talking to me, or do I just pretend that I am listening while I have these wandering thoughts?

Are you surprised that these thoughts happen to me? Let me tell you a secret: they happen to everyone. We are not bad people because bad thoughts come to us but if we don’t resist them, we can become whatever we choose to focus our thoughts on.

The Bible tells us to seek good (1Thess 5:15). Seek means to make an attempt. We all have to seek to think right thoughts. It takes discipline and training, but we can do it. Determine today to set your mind on right things and discipline yourself to keep it set on them and you will enjoy the great and powerful life God has in mind for you.

When you find yourself stuck in a”wandering away” thought that is detrimental to you and you have a hard time staying focussed; get busy doing something good to bless someone. One thing you should not do is stay passive and merely wish you could get it off your mind. Be aggressive and refuse to lend your mind to the devil for his activity.

Remember that bad thoughts lead to bad moods and bad decisions, so don’t waste your time on anything that doesn’t add to the quality of your life. Think on that typewriter, I have to do that many times. 😉

You know, if we are deciding on what we think on or decide where our thoughts go; it all comes down to making decisions. We have to make a choice to activate our will to stay focused. Learn How to Make Decisions Like an Expert in 7 Easy Steps by reading our FREE Report.
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6 Common Thoughts Of Singles That Are Very Deceptive

How can you avoid deception in your thoughts as a single person? In this post Hollywood’s Confusing Portrayal of Marriage was mentioned how New films make marriage look like a prison. Christians ought to be careful and avoid

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deception in any way possible to not let these publicized messages impact how we view marriage. Movies bring very unrealistic values to the table of marriage. God has meant marriage to be powerful in our life. Wow, we could talk about this for a while, isn’t it?

It’s not easy to avoid deception when we don’t gain any knowledge about the subject. What does the bible say about this? God says: my people perish for lack of knowledge; let’s say that we perish when we don’t act on the knowledge that we know. Acting on knowledge and be doers of the word is very powerful. Making right choices is powerful; to us is given the power of choice, right?

There is a lot of deception in the church in these days. Let’s look at some very deceptive thoughts that some single people have.

Deception #1: “He is not a Christian, but he is a great guy!”
The bible warns us NOT to marry a non-Christian. 2Cor.6:14. If you’re single or lonely, God knows. If you’re approaching a certain age, God knows how old you are. And He is not worried. The important thing is not to be married…it’s about choosing the right person to marry. And God can bring that person unexpectedly, just as He did for so many other people. We have to hold onto God’s Word, not a wish list and let God dictate our decision whether or not to marry someone.

Deception #2:” Having a Man Will Solve My Problems.”
Too often women convince themselves that if they could just have the one thing they don’t have, then they would be happy. Do you really think that loneliness might disappear and financial strains melt? Being in a relationship means trading in one set of concerns for another. I heard a marriage counselor once say “both parties need to bring 100% in to marriage”. Don’t expect that the other has to fill in your gaps!

Deception #3: “There Must Be something Wrong With Me If I Don’t have A Man”.
Within each of us is a desire to be known and loved. The bible says “It’s not good…to be alone”. Gen 2:18. Being alone can be very hard and it is natural to want a relationship so we can have companionship. The danger comes when our desire to escape being alone turns into an expectation or agenda. You can be easily disappointed if God doesn’t seem to follow your plans. Remind yourself of the truth about God’s love for you. “No good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” Psalm 84:11

Deception #4: “My Soul Mate Is Out There Somewhere”.
One danger of the “soul-mate philosophy” is that it’s possible to believe you married the wrong person and to think that someone else must be your soul-mate. This is what Neil Clark Warren from Eharmony says: “Soul mates are made, not born. You start with the ingredients for a highly compatible, successful relationship and you work to develop closeness and intimacy.

Deception #5: “It’s Ok To Flirt As Long as Everyone Is Just Having Fun.”
Flirting is a body language. Flattery and flirtation and whatever means of drawing attention to oneself. There is a difference in flirting and being friendly. Within the marriage or as being single; it’s quite another thing to remain emotionally pure – not to flirt with another man and become emotionally attached to him. Isa 3:16 speaks of women with an attitude of pride in their physical beauty and form, walking with necks stretched forth and wanton eyes. The Amplified says, “Undisciplined (flirtatious and alluring) eyes, tripping along with mincing and affected gait, and making a tinkling noise with [the anklets on] their feet.”

Deception #6: “The Way I Dress Is None Of Your Business.”
Like it or not, but you are being watched. People watch people. Guys particularly watch girls and women. They watch how you dress. They watch your behavior patterns. They watch any signals you send. Whether you are naive or purposeful in what you do makes no difference to the fact that they watch you. Girls who are fashion conscious but naïve to the fact that society is pushing sexual freedom could be setting themselves up for hurt and regret.

Modesty doesn’t have to mean wearing sackcloth or no makeup and jewelry. As with all other decisions, wisdom is key.
It’s all about making the right choices and The Power Of Choice; your life can be truly choice driven in every area of your life.
“Modesty is a posture of the heart.” Joshua Harris

5 Thoughts About “Abortion Is My Only Option”

This is a myth that lots and lots of people really DO believe. So, let’s talk about this myth, because it really got my attention through what we are hearing on the news. Right this moment is this couple deciding for a baby to be aborted or being birthed. Their question is: “Help us Decide, a Real Abortion Vote!” They have a poll on the internet and want the whole world more or less to decide for them.

What if the baby gets birthed and gets to know that his/her parents had a poll to make a decision about his/her life.There is a lot to say about this, but that is not what this article is about. Let’s look at this myth that men and women think that abortion is the only option they have. [Read more…]

4 Reasons To Be Involved In Church

The last few weeks I received a sequence of 9 e-mails in my inbox from Perry Marshall where he talked about “The Nine Great Lies of Sales & Marketing”; very interesting. It made me think about the lies that we all believe about Christianity; our Christian walk.

Everyday we hear things and subconsciously believe all these things that the world tells us. Satan’s strongest weapon against you is lies. So, let’s expose some of these myths and then explore what God’s Word says so that the next time you hear a myth, you can name the lie and replace it with the truth.  And then we can start making righteous choices for our life to go into the right direction.

Ok, this is my first choice;

Myth #1:

It’s ok if I am not committed to a church as long as my relationship with God is healthy.”

From high school graduation to age 25 is a 42 % drop in weekly church attendance and a 58% decline from age 18 to age 29. That represents about 8 million twenty something alive today who were active church-goers as teenagers but who will no longer be active in a church by their 30th birthday.” Barna Research Group

I have heard so many stories from people that are not involved in church right now and think that. that really doesn’t matter. They say things like “going to church does not get you saved. It’s your personal relationship with Jesus that matters and church has nothing to do with that. As long as I pray and as long as I am right with God, then church can wait. I will get back eventually”.

Let me tell you I have been in and out of church for quite a long time. We had all kinds of reasons, which actually were excuses if you think about it! It takes an effort to get back into church. You really have to want it, otherwise you never will I believe.

I like this quote from Dwight.L Moody “The difference between listening to a radio sermon and going to church…is almost like the difference between calling your girl on the phone and spending an evening with her.”

No, church attendance doesn’t save you. But the church does matter to God. So what? you may ask. Think about this:

  • Church wasn’t your pastor’s idea or your mother’s idea. It was God’s idea. Because the church matters to God, it should matter to you too. Paul calls the church “God’s household, which is the church of the living God”. 1Tim 3:15
  • Sometimes we approach church with a fast-food attitude – wanting to zip through the drive-through window, get what we want in minutes and not have to interact with other people. Instead we can transform our attitudes about church by approaching it as a place to give, to know and to be known, to invest our time, to develop intentional relationships and to slow down and truly worship.
  • While our personal relationship with Christ is what saves you, the bible also emphasizes that you are a apart of a body with many parts (1Corinthians 12). It is impossible to be a healthy Christian apart from the life-giving local body.
  • We were not designed to live in isolation, plowing through life alone. God intended for Christians to do life together. To raise our families together and meet each others needs (Acts 2:42). To roll up our sleeves and work together. To support each other through the good and the bad times in life. While the church isn’t perfect, it’s the most amazing institution on earth and one worth investing in; both for what you can give and for what you can get.

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.  And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another… Heb 10:24-25

1 Great Way to Change Your Mind

1 Corinthians 2:16 says that we have the mind of Christ.

The other day I was in a group of people and we were talking about all kinds of things. It was a lot of fun. But I started to notice that I was hearing some things over and over again, like “God is control” or “after all, God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts” or “yes, amen, but you know that’s the way the Bible says it will be”.

Sometimes people can be very puzzled by all the things of and about God, because  if that’s all it says and you say that all the time, it will be difficult for us to expect that we will be able to do something special and leave it all up to God. It is a good thing then that the Bible doesn’t stop there.

But praise God, the Bible doesn’t stop there. According to Isaiah 55:11, God says, “So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.”

In other words, you don’t have to stay below God’s thoughts. Your thoughts can come up to His level. How? Through His Word. God’s thoughts are His Word, so if you’ll think His Word, you’ll think His thoughts.

“But wait a minute. To think God’s supernatural thoughts, you’d have to have a ‘supernatural mind,’ wouldn’t you?”

Yes—and if you’re a believer, you already have one. You have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16). I read that for years, but I didn’t really understand it until I translated the word Christ. It means “the Anointed One.”

So to have the mind of Christ is to have a mind that is under the influence of the Anointing of God. A mind that’s not under the influence of God is in opposition to Him. It always goes contrary to His ways. And since God’s ways are right, then a mind without the anointing will think wrong.

But hang on…just because you’ve made Jesus Lord doesn’t mean you’ll automatically think God’s thoughts. You only begin thinking God’s thoughts when you begin to fill your mind and heart with the Word of God and make yourself subject to His Anointing.

Romans 12:2 calls that process “the renewing of your mind.” It also says that process will transform you. Why does it have such a dramatic effect? Because when you change your mind, you change your choices—and that changes everything.

So learn to stir up the anointing on the inside of you. Subject your mind to it. Allow the anointing to transform the way you think. Allow it to change your mind!

Scripture Reading: Isaiah 55:6-11