How You Can Learn to Love Yourself



How You Can Learn to Love Yourself


You and I are uniquely designed for such a time as this; for a specific purpose. We all have different personalities, gifts, skills, talents, preferences and experiences. God never intended for us to be a clone of someone else. We should embrace, love and accept the masterpiece He has created each of us to be.

We all remember the experiences from when we grew up from childhood into adulthood as we go through different experiences; some are positive and some are negative. Apart from how or why we go through some of these experiences; God can use them to our benefit.

These experiences help to shape and mold us into the people that we become. As we grow and develop as individuals, we gain a concept of who we are and what we were created to do and achieve. Gaining a concept of who we are and loving ourselves unconditionally empower us to live an authentic lifestyle.

Embrace Who You Are

We must appreciate ourselves. Although it may not be a reality for some, when we look in the mirror, we should see one of the best people we know. It is important that we know ourselves better than we know anyone else, all our flaws included and be able to see ourselves as an unique and beautiful individual, empowered by God to succeed in every area of our lives.

We were wonderfully made by a loving God who does all things well. He purposely made us for a time such as this. Though others may resemble you and play some of the same roles as you, there is only one you; and only you can do what you have been created to do.

Knowing and Loving Who We Are

When we know and when we love ourselves as we are gives us the ability to live freely. When we take the time to appreciate the gifts and the abilities placed within us, we can appreciate the gifts and talents of others.

Taking the time to discover and develop the things that we are good at and interested in helps to nurture and cultivate our abilities so that we are always striving to be the best we can be for ourselves as well as for others.

Sometimes we run into challenges as we try to embrace our self image on our journey to self-realization. I dealt with a lot of insecurities when I was young; I still remember how uncertain I was in some situations. It almost prevented me from discovering the life that I was born  to live and to know God’s plan for my life.

I was always seeking after the approval of others; as I learned to walk in the image of Christ and see myself the way God sees me, I started to overcome many obstacles step by step.

While we need to be able to relate to others and enjoy their company, we also must learn to do so without being oppressed by their opinions. We never should be in bondage to other people, because that is what it is.

I am so glad that God showed me a way out; He will do the same for you. Although there are times when it tries to return; you and I need to remind ourselves that we are free. Through all this self-realization and acceptance, I was able to make a quality decision.

Either I was going to remain the insecure person I had been for years, or I was going to be insecure in who I was. I chose the latter, and once I started on my new journey toward self-acceptance and self-love, I began to focus on fulfilling my God-given purpose.

Eliminate Being Critical

When we are critical or when we are overly critical this means that we have a negative outlook on life. We tend to look at others and everything with fault finding, harsh accusations, humiliating attitudes and a tendency to unfairly judge ourselves as well as others.

Critical people tend to look down on everyone in a negative way in an attempt to build themselves up. The word critical actually means to find fault or to judge with severity, often times way too fast.

Being critical is opposite to God’s nature. He does not focus on the negative aspects of anyone and anything. He is love, and His very nature is to see the best in everyone and every situation. Therefore, we should not be quick to find fault, but to believe the best.

We do not have to be naive and unrealistic. However we can choose to see things from a positive perspective that agrees with God.

When we begin to read the Bible on a regular basis and understand God’s character, our thoughts will agree with Him. We will begin to understand that if we are to walk with God, we must agree with His plan. God can, and will, use everything He has placed on the inside of us for a specific purpose.

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  1. Carrie Huskey says:

    At one time in my life I didn’t like myself because that’s what my dad had me believe. Thru all the abuse I grew to dislike myself even more. Then I met Jesus and learned that He loves me. Thru gettin to know Jesus I learned if I am loved by Him I can surely like myself. So today I can say I like myself. I cannot yet say I love myself but with His help I can learn to love me.

  2. I love this one Olga! It is something that I have struggled with – loving myself! I am learning to embrace who I am through Christ but it is a process. I think the devil loves to feed us with negative thoughts about ourselves but the more conscious I am about it, the more I can replace those thoughts. It is my daily prayer that I will use the gifts that God has given me to honor and serve Him.
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  3. Charles Allen says:

    I always had the promblem with measureing up to other people so i would be liked by others.Like completeing in different subject in college or when i was in the police ac measuring up because i couldn’t write a report correct or miss spealed words witch i still have that promblem times you might speal words on F B wrong then people will tell you do so hinders me from posting much, the word can be understood plain but you left out a letter,i don’t know if those type of people want others to think there so smart no room for aire on there part.have a great day Charles.

  4. I find that instead of being critical of myself choosing to create one activity that would re-frame how I am feeling about myself at that moment is very powerful.
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  5. Another great and encouraging article. Thank you!

  6. I used to be guilty on the other side of the spectrum, choosing to focus on the positive and always see whatever good I could see in people. Because i went to an extreme and didn’t use wisdom and discernment, two of God’s most powerful gifts, I unwittingly ended up in relationships with people who took advantage of my naivete. My goal is to scoot to the middle of the spectrum and still see positive while remaining wise to the serpent’s ways.

    Every day Father sends us out as lambs in the midst of wolves. He’s so confident of His ability to protect us. Most people are lambs… but when you run up against a wolf, it’s best to call it what it is, I’ve learned, instead of focusing on that person’s potential and draining your resources and energy trying to stay positive in their energy-sucking influence.
    Susan McKenzie recently posted..Rise Up A WarriorMy Profile

    • Susan McKenzie I can totally relate to you when say that you were taken advantage for your kindness naivete. I learned that this is just part of life and we will always find such type of people. To me it was an opportunity and a test to stay strong and keep moving and also to find out what types of people I am dealing with. So from my perspective, it’s a good thing

  7. This is so critical for us and our growth! Especially removing judgments regarding others… it’s amazing how freeing it can be to let others off the hook, too 🙂
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  8. I love Susan’s comment, because I was just sitting here thinking how that pendulum can swing both ways. Learning to fully and completely accept who you are at all times- even when someone else doesn’t- is easier said than done, but essential to true happiness.
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  9. Thank you for writing about this subject Olga because it really creates strength and personal growth that will generate positive attitude, character and a productive behavior. And this is really has to do with mindset and belief system.

  10. Thanks Olga great post. I agree letting go of others approval is so freeing!
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  11. Olga, I especially resonate with your discussion of how to be non-critical while not going to the extreme of being naive. I used to think it was either one of the other. But God’s attitude toward us is surely a great example of staying in reality yet not judging harshly!
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  12. Olga, great post. We define who we are by the standards of the world, which is so fickle! When I discovered what God said about me… who HE thought & said I was… that changed my whole perception. I now (for the most part, hey! I’m human… tee-hee) know who I am in Christ. It has made the whole difference in how I view myself. I am not just anybody! I am the daughter of the King… his precious jewel. I am in his heritage! I am of great value… Thanks for reminding me. x0x
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  13. Self-acceptance is so huge. I’ve struggled with it over the years and sometimes still do, but it has gotten better! I see young kids struggle with this too, especially athletes. Thanks for your words of wisdom!
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  14. Love this Olga! I totally agree with this statement “Taking the time to discover and develop the things that we are good at and interested in helps to nurture and cultivate our abilities so that we are always striving to be the best we can be for ourselves as well as for others.”. It is soo important to understand our strengths, what we love to do and do them to the best of our ability.
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  15. Speaking as a parent and parent coach it is my opinion that a great deal of insecurity and self-doubt comes from the way many times children are compared to others…”why can’t get you along with people LIKE your brother does” or “Your like me, horrible in math!” …these kinds of statements teach children their worth is determined by the choices and characteristics of others rather than being encouraged and praised to be who they are. As always great article!
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  16. I love the graphic, it summarize the blog nicely.

  17. Accepting who you are and loving yourself first is indeed a big thing. Thanks for this lovely post, Olga.
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  18. The hardest lesson I had to learn so far was that it’s okay to be me, and I’m fine just the way I am. For too long I tried to live up or down, as the case may be, to everyone else’s expectations and it really did ruin me. Now I love myself just the way I am, and look out world! Thanks for another great post Olga. 🙂
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  19. Thanks for the positive and encourage post, Olga. It does feel great when we get aligned with God’s plan for our life and realize His true purpose for each and every one of us!
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  20. Great article, Olga! I especially loved, “When we know and when we love ourselves as we are gives us the ability to live freely. When we take the time to appreciate the gifts and the abilities placed within us, we can appreciate the gifts and talents of others.” So true! Thanks for sharing your great knowledge and wisdom.
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  21. This is a very inspirational post. We are enough just the way we are and although it can be a journey to truly love ourselves, it can happen for everyone. Thanks for sharing your insightful information.
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  22. Oh we must accept who we are and what gifts we as individuals have to offer. Parents must stop comparing as this creates the insecurities and lack of self trust we try so hard to overcome.
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  23. This was my favorite line: “Taking the time to discover and develop the things that we are good at and interested in helps to nurture and cultivate our abilities so that we are always striving to be the best we can be for ourselves as well as for others.” This is sooooo true!
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  24. I love this Olga, thanks. It’s so easy to be critical about yourself without even recognizing you’re doing it. I know I often catch myself in negative self-talk and I’m like, “hey, who gave you permission to talk to me like that!” Being positive about yourself and embracing yourself is a learned habit, one I still work on! Thanks for your constant motivation and inspiration.
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  25. Indeed Olga. Embracing ourselves is the key as we are all unique and given certain gifts to accomplish what we have been set out to do.
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