Your Marriage Is Important To God


Your Marriage Is Important To God

Your Marriage Is Important To God


Is your marriage important to you? It is to God. And if it’s important to Him, it should be important to you. If that’s not the case, it would be good to change your priorities. We pay attention to those things that are important to us.

I have known my husband since he was 11 and I was 13. That is a long time to know someone and we are more in love than ever. We recently celebrated our 32nd anniversary. We are blessed with two beautiful children who love the Lord. But our current happiness was threatened at one time.

Lost And Without Hope

About 25 years ago, before we had a foundation in the Lord, our marriage was in trouble. Neither of us knew how to fix it. Suddenly, the challenges all marriages face began to snowball and we both decided to split up. We were lost and without hope, in terrible shape in every area of our lives.

My kids’ welfare was the only thing that was important to me and I decided to focus on them and not on myself. I devoted myself to giving them all the attention they needed. That was one of my best decisions at that time. Bit by bit, I began to get my thoughts together. But everything was still very, very painful.

A Strange Resemblance

After a few weeks I received a phone call from a friend who asked me to go to an Amway meeting with her. As part of the program, a couple gave a testimony about how their marriage had been restored after their decision to divorce.

As I listened to their story, I noticed how much the husband resembled my husband. It was almost if my husband were standing on the platform saying things such as “You must fight for your marriage” and “Your struggle is worth it” and “Stick with your partner and work things out.”

I had no clue that God was working in me and on behalf of our marriage. God had a miracle for me and our marriage right there in front of me. Not yet being a Christian, I didn’t recognize God’s hand in my situation. BUT…..I yielded to the goodness that was portrayed through this couple’s testimony. They told us that their miracle was possible for everyone. So, I decided that I would be that “everyone” in my situation.

I was so excited…especially since this man looked so much like my husband. I returned home where my husband was babysitting our children, filled with joy and hope. I told him what I had heard and asked him if he would like to try to make our marriage work. He said, that he had been thinking about the same thing all night. Well, isn’t that just like God?

Marriage Restored and Ready to Be Born Again

So, we made a mutual decision to come together again. With the help of friends, we worked through some hard places in our marriage. A few months later we were born again. It was the best day of our lives. And here we are at 32 years of marriage. Praise the Lord!

Later, my husband and I returned to one of those meetings where I had heard the life-changing testimony. I wanted to tell that couple how much their testimony had blessed us, and tell them our testimony, of course. This time, to my surprise, the husband didn’t at all resemble my husband. My perceiving him that way was part of how God worked a miracle for us. He wants to do the same for you if you will yield to His goodness. God is a good God. He loves you unconditionally. His mercy is there for you all the time. Receive it by releasing all that bitter junk that is compromising your marriage.

Six Key Ideas To Elevate the Importance of Your Marriage

If you want to begin putting the same importance on your marriage as God does, I Peter 3:1-13 provides six key ideas to make your marriage stronger and to help you grow together as husband and wife.

1. Adapt yourselves (I Peter 3:1 AMP)
The Amplified Bible translates submit as adapt yourselves to them. Submit doesn’t imply being a doormat. To adapt means to “fit and flow together.” It is a wonderful thing when a husband and wife flow together in everything that they do and in everything that they envision in their life.

2. Honor your mate
When you honor someone, you treat them as you wish to be treated. Do you wish to be treated as a king? Then treat your mate in the same manner. If you are the king, treat her like a queen. If you are the queen, treat him like a king. Your act of honoring will return honor to you.

3. Be of one mind (I Peter 3:8)
It takes effort to be of one mind (one in thought), but it is possible. We need to grow in our communication. We also need to be able to receive and give correction to one another. In order to give correction, you must be able to receive it.

4. Show compassion to one another
You need to be able to feel what your mate is going through. The KJV version tells in 1Peter 3:8 that we need to be courteous; I always appreciate it when my husband is courteous to me.

5. Do not render evil for evil
Whatever you sow, you will reap (Galatians 6:7). This is true for every area of life. Plant a seed of love when your mate is going through a difficult time, or when you’re in a situation prone to strife. Don’t join in the strife with your mate. Sow mercy and love into the situation, and you’ll see your mate change before your eyes. You will reap what you have sown, good or bad.

6. Flee evil situations
Run from the appearance of evil. If you’re in a situation that’s a temptation to you, whether it’s on the job or wherever it might be, obey the warnings your spirit gives you.

It is really important that you not only love each other, but that you appreciate each other as husband and wife

To Sum It Up

Whether your marriage is in the valley of despair (like mine was), mundane, or on the mountaintop, it’s important to pay attention and do things to nurture it.


The Mystery of Romance

The Mystery of Romance

by Olga Hermans


Next week it’s Valentine’s Day; do you love the day that promotes love and romance? Do you? I love it! For some people it means cards and chocolate, a dinner and candlelight or a movie and all those wonderful things! I hope that today’s post will boost your romance for Valentine’s day.

There is one thing that many of us don’t know about God and that is that He is romantic. Did that shock you? He is not only spiritual and not only practical; He also is romantic. Where do you think romance came from? God is the author of it. God is the Original Romancer.

God is love! How do you get more love? You spend more time with God and He gives you more love for those around you. Simple isn’t it?

So what is love and romance? Is it a magic formula of bath bubbles and candlelight? Or is it a price threshold that we have to exceed? We all know it’s neither.

Romance is in the mind; it is a mindset. It actually is an atmosphere that we develop and grow in our relationships. Sometimes we confuse romance with the things we have seen in movies or read in books or what people say about it. It is important that we make a distinction between the instructions of romance and the descriptions of romance.

There are many many books with detailed instructions from experts on how relationships work. Instructions work great in assembling your Ikea table, but when it comes to romantic ideas, they tend to be generic, and they may not always “fit” your relationship.

You might prefer totally different things from what your partner likes to do. Maybe you prefer going to the movie and eat a burger or you prefer flannel pyjamas over Victoria Secret pyjamas. Your way of doing things doesn’t make you more or less romantic. No, it just means the classic romantic prescriptions aren’t your “cup of tea.”

If there is one thing, just one thing I could say to couples; newlyweds or marrieds for 40+ years, it doesn’t matter…I would say these four words: “Husbands, love your wives.” Eph. 5:25 There are also numerous verses for wives – for sure. They talk about how we should behave, respect, honor and submit and all the rest of it and we need to take heed to those passages, don’t get me wrong.

BUT…this is the mystery… don’t you love mysteries? It is a huge mystery to me but I know that it’is something divine and godly when a husband loves his wife – and gives himself to her. Nobody really understands it, that’s why it is a mystery, right? But it is very fundamental.

Jesus is like that; He loves us this way. I remember the time when the Holy Spirit wooed me to come to the Lord; it was a wonderful  moment that I will NEVER forget. We love Jesus because He first loved us; and it’s the same way in marriage. We didn’t initiate our love affair with the Lord…He did!

It’s the same in a marriage, when a husband loves his wife first or “initiates” love towards her—consistently—she begins to believe she is loved and she “responds” by returning love! Jesus was the love initiator and we are love responders. Husbands are to be love initiators and wives will be love responders.

Does your marriage need a romance boost? This is it: “husbands…love your wives! Wives…respond to his love”.

I want to give you some romantic ideas to boost your romance that you can apply to your unique marriage relationship.

  1. Romance should be fun, it shouldn’t be stiff and feel uncomfortable. Laugh a little bit and act squirrelly if you like. What’s your cup of tea? My husband and I like to go for some good food; what do you like? Maybe it’s nature, a romantic movie or music or do you like to go shopping together? I like to go to bookstores, my husband likes to go to these fancy kitchen gadgets stores; he likes any gadget, if you ask me…:)
  2. Romance should come from the heart.  “Long walks on the beach” is a common romantic thought but if that bores you, go roller-skating or go for a swim in the lake; do whatever you enjoy and makes you happy.
  3. Romance should not be an obligation; it needs to be a choice. The moment that you think, “I have to do this because it is Valentine’s day”, you’ve lost the romance. Deciding to please your husband or wife in whatever way is romantic.
  4. Don’t underestimate sacred romance; a small romantic touch can go a long way. Romance does not have to be big and expensive. All the little things add up and make great memories.
  5. Romance should be safe; you are ONE. It shouldn’t be boring, but it should be creative and spontaneous. But then again we should not embarrass, gross out, or frighten our spouse.
  6. Romance is something that you give; NEVER use it to manipulate the other. “I did this for you, so you do this for me,” kind of thing. We want to do this to bless our partners.
  7. Wear a scent. Whether it’s an oil or perfume on your body, a pleasant smell attracts. Sensation from Young Living Oils is a wonderfully fragrant, powerfully romantic. 

Is there a tip that you like to share with our readers? Let us know in the comment section!

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The Seven ‘C’s’ Of A Great Marriage

The Seven ‘C’s’ Of A Great Marriage

By Olga Hermans

Good communication involves talking, listening, understanding and taking action. Communication breakdown is the number one problem in marriage. It’s the number one cause of separation and divorce. A lot of people don’t realize it, because they relate their problems to some other area. But if your communication is proper and you have the ability to share openly, you can solve financial problems, and children problems.

If you want to live the life you were born to live; you have to be able to communicate especially with your spouse. It takes an effort on your part to communicate effectively with God and with the people who are around you. If you get your communication right with God, you can have the right communication with the people around you; communication is a process. Having a successful scriptural marriage isn’t an instant, or easy, task. But it can be done.; you just have to make a choice.

Not just by reading a book or this article, but by choosing to put the principles that God has given us to work day by day, moment by moment for the rest of your life.

Here are the seven “C’s” that probably will help you if you put them to work; you can use them over and over again

1. Communicate

Communication is listening and understanding what the other person is trying to express and you do your very best to understand the other person. Communication is also opening up and sharing yourself with another person, even if it means becoming vulnerable. Communication is the basis of any successful relationship.

2. Cover One Another

If you truly love your spouse, you won’t expose, humiliate, or condemn them whenever they make a mistake; you will cover them. 1Peter 4:8.

Wives, you won’t point your finger at your husband and tell on how often he fails to pray or how carnal he is much of the time. And husbands, you won’t point your finger at your wife and tell on how much she nags. No. You’ll cover each other’s weaknesses. Cover each other with love.

3. Cherish One Another

The word cherish there literally means, “To feel or show affection.” Ephesians 5:29 Showing affection can be done by showing gentle and caring emotion with one another. It is the number one need of a wife, but it is also very important for the men.

You know, affection will always give you that emotional thrust that you need when things get rough; you are able to act in love. It is the glue that will bond you together in good times and bad.

4. Comfort One Another

Comfort is a vitally important element that enables us to stand successfully against the devil in every area of our lives. It makes it easier for us to be patient. 2 Cor. 1:3

God wants you to be your spouse’s greatest source of comfort. There is nobody else that can bring him tenderness when they’re hurt. A word of hope when they are discouraged

You’re the one to bring them kind-heartedness when they’re hurt, words of trust when they’re downcast, and friendship when it seems the whole world has forsaken them. If you’ll do it, you will go a long way in giving your spouse the courage to move forward.

5. Compel One Another

Again, just as you’re to be the greatest source of comfort to your spouse, you’re also to be the one God primarily uses to compel them toward love and good works. You are the one who should encourage your spouse to do better in everything; to inspire each other so you won’t grow weary in doing the right things. Gal.6:9

6. Consult With One Another

Agreement is a foundational principle of relationship succes, Amos 3:3. It is impossible to walk together if there is no agreement. When you break that principle; there will be strife and your marriage might eventually fail. So check with each other to see if you can agree.

Your spouse is a gift from God; so don’t misuse it. Your spouse is your balance and the person that enables you to grow and develop in the person you have to become.

7. Cleave One to Another

Never lose sight of the need you have for each other. Gen. 2:24 Always remember that your spouse complements you in a way no one else can. No friend, no child, no parent, and no pet – as wonderful as they may be – can do more for you than your spouse.

So cleave to that one alone. Pursue the marriage relationship with a singular determination that will eventually make you one flesh – not just in concept, but in fact. That only can be done by thorough communication.

There are many jokes about how much women can talk and talk and talk, but it is based on facts I think. Yes, I as a woman have a real need of sharing conversation, not just the chatter that this joke always talks about. This is not a joke; otherwise the need of men for sex is also a joke.

There are different levels of communication; from a cliché level where you only talk about the weather. Then we can have this conversation where we only talk about the facts that we went through that day. Men have a tendency to think in terms of the headlines, while women think more in terms of fine print. We want all the details 🙂

But real communication has a total openness and transparency level; where we experience trust and are able to share completely and freely about anything and everything. This is a level where we don’t hide and cover up, no areas where you are limited or where you feel there’s a touchy subject you can’t talk about.

You need to set aside a time when you can open up and communicate with your mate on a regular basis, whether it’s over coffee in the morning, at breakfast or lunch, in the evening on the back porch or whenever. Identify some place where you can open up and share together freely.

You have to make a choice to decide, because there is much power of agreement in communication. Will you do it? Let us know in the comment section what stood out the most to you and what things do you want to change? Thank you for doing that!

This article was inspired by a book from my former pastor Billy Joe Daugherty “Building Stronger Marriages and Families”

How Do You Know You Are Ready for Marriage?

How Do You Know You Are Ready for Marriage?

by Olga Hermans





You are ready for marriage when you choose to understand God’s plans and purposes for marriage. Many people aren’t ready for marriage, because they’ve never understood God’s plans and purposes. It definitely is a choice to be willing to understand and gain knowledge or to just ignore the things that you need to know before you get married. How can you help me make the right choice in marriage partner is very often a question that singles ask. What they are saying is that they desire to have God’s choice marriage for their life. Life is about choices and making decisons that matter.

You’re ready for marriage when you’re mature enough and willing to assume the responsibilities of being a husband, a wife, a father, or a mother.

You’re  ready to get married when you’re ready to settle down with one person for the rest of your life. You should think in terms of a 75-year contract. When you’re ready to sign in blood with your life, you’re ready for marriage.

You’re ready for marriage when you’re no longer depending upon your family or relatives to support you. Thank God for support that may come, but you shouldn’t depend on it when you’re going into a marriage union. You need to fly with your own wings. Many people want to get married, but they set themselves up for difficulties by their financial circumstances.

You are ready to get married when you are ready to give love and to be loved. Many couples get married in lust and the husband and wife have never learned to really love one another. When they say, “I don’t love you anymore,” what they are really saying is, “I don’t lust after you anymore.” The lust is gone, so there is no reason to stay in the relationship. But when that love is self-giving, kind, and tenderhearted, then you’re ready for marriage, because regardless of circumstances, you’ll keep on loving.

If you’re married and you’ve missed some of these foundational stones, you must work at it. You must desire to the point that your desire is translated into effort to rebuild the foundations in your marriage, but they don’t translate the desire into effort.

My husband and I weren’t raised in a Christian family, as of now we are still the only Christians on both sides. Because of our past and our different backgrounds we went through some very rough place in our marriage. All thanks to God, we came out on top and were able to raise our children with Christian values and principles.

You need to take time to talk about ways to improve and strengthen your home. Learn to ask: “How can I help you? What can I do?” Open yourself up to listen, talk, and communicate. You can get more knowledge, although I don’t think it’s always the issue of getting more information. I think people have enough information in many cases if they’ll only would communicate it with each other.

To be ready for marriage, you need to be healed of past hurts. You cannot carry grudges into a marriage and family relationship and expect the family to keep growing. If you’re bitter at your children, the children are bitter at the parents, or the husband and wife are bitter at each other, you need to forgive and release one another. If you don’t, when an argument or strife comes and your blood pressure goes up, you’ll pull out your list and go through all the things that have happened in the last 20 years or so!

You need to have a list-burning ceremony! Send the offenses up in smoke! Burn them and determine, “I am going to forgive myself, forgive my mate, and forgive my children.

There is a NEW Beginning.

When two born-again believers come together in marriage before God, in His eyes, they are cleansed. They are as clean before the Lord as Adam and Eve were in the Garden before they sinned, no matter what their past has been.

Maybe you’ve had a broken marriage and you’ve remarried. There’s cleansing and forgiveness for failures that have been committed in the past, whether you have deliberately and unknowingly failed in marriage God can give you knowledge and understanding. He can give you a marriage in wholeness and bring into your marriage the power that He plans.

You can make a choice to start over today right where you are with a fresh mental and spiritual attitude, by forgetting those things which are behind.

You can start by obeying 2 Chon.7:14: Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.

This means, for a fresh start and for healing in your marriage and family, you need to:

  1. Humble yourself
  2. Pray and seek God’s face.
  3. Turn from your wicked ways.

Then God will hear you, He will forgive your sin, and He will heal your marriage and family.

To be completely sure about the new beginning, obey the command of Isaiah 60:1 (Amp): ARISE [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you–rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you!

Arise from the circumstances in which you find yourself. You can rise above them, and God will meet your every need. He wants your marriage healed. It’s not too late for your marriage. It’s never too late. God’s Word is the same yesterday, today and forever. Hebr.13:8

Post/Tweet this: You are ready to get married when you are ready to give love and to be loved #TheDailyChoice

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How Do You Build Your House On The Rock [video]

A Wise Man Builds His House On The Rock By Hearing God’s Word And By Putting It Into Practice

What is the solid foundation of a solid marriage? How can your family withstand the storms of life? Why not

build your house on something stable, something that can stand through every test and trial? [Read more…]

11 Issues Causing Marriage Difficulities

There is such a great need in this hour that if we who have strong marriages and homes can have vision for helping hurting marriages, our own marriage will even get better. If you have gone through a broken marriage, God can

God Can Rebuild Your Life So You Will Avoid Making The Same Mistake That You Have Made In The Past

reconstruct your life and either use you to help other people as a single or lead you to remarry. God can rebuild your life so you will avoid making the same mistake that you have made in the past.
Here are some issues that cause difficulties or areas of conflict in the marriage relationship.

1.    Pride
James 4:6 says,… God resists the proud, but gives grace unto the humble.” Pro 16:18 says, Pride goes before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. A proud person will not receive the grace of God.
We’re in a generation now in which many children have grown up in divorced homes. They’ve gone through tremendous hurts. If they don’t receive the ministry of the Holy Spirit, they’ll enter a marriage relationship with past scars and wounds.

This is an hour for the Church to rise up as never before because of the number of people who are entering marriage from a totally different perspective. We are in a materialistic, selfish generation. When you get two selfish people together, you have war. They want to grab, they want to get and they want their own way. In fact they demand it. [Read more…]

7 Common Thoughts in Marriage That Are Very Deceptive

How to Avoid Deception With These 7 Common Thoughts in Your Marriage? What causes a Christian man or woman to leave what appears to be a solid marriage of several years for an affair with another person which cost them everything. How come? How can we avoid deception? Noah Webster defines deceived as “when a person believes what is not truth to be truth…to be misled.” Here are 7 deceptive thoughts that many believers believe to be true in every marriage.

1. “A Good Marriage Is Always Exciting.”
Movies portray the romantic highs of love and reinforce the fallacy that the “in-love” feeling will last forever. And if it doesn’t…well, perhaps it’s time to move on to a “better” relationship. The real key to how to keep your marriage exciting is an act of the will, a choice to honor your commitment to another person. [Read more…]