The Seven ‘C’s’ Of A Great Marriage
By Olga Hermans
Good communication involves talking, listening, understanding and taking action. Communication breakdown is the number one problem in marriage. It’s the number one cause of separation and divorce. A lot of people don’t realize it, because they relate their problems to some other area. But if your communication is proper and you have the ability to share openly, you can solve financial problems, and children problems.
If you want to live the life you were born to live; you have to be able to communicate especially with your spouse. It takes an effort on your part to communicate effectively with God and with the people who are around you. If you get your communication right with God, you can have the right communication with the people around you; communication is a process. Having a successful scriptural marriage isn’t an instant, or easy, task. But it can be done.; you just have to make a choice.
Not just by reading a book or this article, but by choosing to put the principles that God has given us to work day by day, moment by moment for the rest of your life.
Here are the seven “C’s” that probably will help you if you put them to work; you can use them over and over again
Communication is listening and understanding what the other person is trying to express and you do your very best to understand the other person. Communication is also opening up and sharing yourself with another person, even if it means becoming vulnerable. Communication is the basis of any successful relationship.
2. Cover One Another
If you truly love your spouse, you won’t expose, humiliate, or condemn them whenever they make a mistake; you will cover them. 1Peter 4:8.
Wives, you won’t point your finger at your husband and tell on how often he fails to pray or how carnal he is much of the time. And husbands, you won’t point your finger at your wife and tell on how much she nags. No. You’ll cover each other’s weaknesses. Cover each other with love.
3. Cherish One Another
The word cherish there literally means, “To feel or show affection.” Ephesians 5:29 Showing affection can be done by showing gentle and caring emotion with one another. It is the number one need of a wife, but it is also very important for the men.
You know, affection will always give you that emotional thrust that you need when things get rough; you are able to act in love. It is the glue that will bond you together in good times and bad.
4. Comfort One Another
Comfort is a vitally important element that enables us to stand successfully against the devil in every area of our lives. It makes it easier for us to be patient. 2 Cor. 1:3
God wants you to be your spouse’s greatest source of comfort. There is nobody else that can bring him tenderness when they’re hurt. A word of hope when they are discouraged
You’re the one to bring them kind-heartedness when they’re hurt, words of trust when they’re downcast, and friendship when it seems the whole world has forsaken them. If you’ll do it, you will go a long way in giving your spouse the courage to move forward.
5. Compel One Another
Again, just as you’re to be the greatest source of comfort to your spouse, you’re also to be the one God primarily uses to compel them toward love and good works. You are the one who should encourage your spouse to do better in everything; to inspire each other so you won’t grow weary in doing the right things. Gal.6:9
6. Consult With One Another
Agreement is a foundational principle of relationship succes, Amos 3:3. It is impossible to walk together if there is no agreement. When you break that principle; there will be strife and your marriage might eventually fail. So check with each other to see if you can agree.
Your spouse is a gift from God; so don’t misuse it. Your spouse is your balance and the person that enables you to grow and develop in the person you have to become.
7. Cleave One to Another
Never lose sight of the need you have for each other. Gen. 2:24 Always remember that your spouse complements you in a way no one else can. No friend, no child, no parent, and no pet – as wonderful as they may be – can do more for you than your spouse.
So cleave to that one alone. Pursue the marriage relationship with a singular determination that will eventually make you one flesh – not just in concept, but in fact. That only can be done by thorough communication.
There are many jokes about how much women can talk and talk and talk, but it is based on facts I think. Yes, I as a woman have a real need of sharing conversation, not just the chatter that this joke always talks about. This is not a joke; otherwise the need of men for sex is also a joke.
There are different levels of communication; from a cliché level where you only talk about the weather. Then we can have this conversation where we only talk about the facts that we went through that day. Men have a tendency to think in terms of the headlines, while women think more in terms of fine print. We want all the details 🙂
But real communication has a total openness and transparency level; where we experience trust and are able to share completely and freely about anything and everything. This is a level where we don’t hide and cover up, no areas where you are limited or where you feel there’s a touchy subject you can’t talk about.
You need to set aside a time when you can open up and communicate with your mate on a regular basis, whether it’s over coffee in the morning, at breakfast or lunch, in the evening on the back porch or whenever. Identify some place where you can open up and share together freely.
You have to make a choice to decide, because there is much power of agreement in communication. Will you do it? Let us know in the comment section what stood out the most to you and what things do you want to change? Thank you for doing that!
This article was inspired by a book from my former pastor Billy Joe Daugherty “Building Stronger Marriages and Families”