Your Marriage Is Important To God

November 18, 2012 by 15 Comments
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Your Marriage Is Important To God

Your Marriage Is Important To God

 

Is your marriage important to you? It is to God. And if it’s important to Him, it should be important to you. If that’s not the case, it would be good to change your priorities. We pay attention to those things that are important to us.

I have known my husband since he was 11 and I was 13. That is a long time to know someone and we are more in love than ever. We recently celebrated our 32nd anniversary. We are blessed with two beautiful children who love the Lord. But our current happiness was threatened at one time.

Lost And Without Hope

About 25 years ago, before we had a foundation in the Lord, our marriage was in trouble. Neither of us knew how to fix it. Suddenly, the challenges all marriages face began to snowball and we both decided to split up. We were lost and without hope, in terrible shape in every area of our lives.

My kids’ welfare was the only thing that was important to me and I decided to focus on them and not on myself. I devoted myself to giving them all the attention they needed. That was one of my best decisions at that time. Bit by bit, I began to get my thoughts together. But everything was still very, very painful.

A Strange Resemblance

After a few weeks I received a phone call from a friend who asked me to go to an Amway meeting with her. As part of the program, a couple gave a testimony about how their marriage had been restored after their decision to divorce.

As I listened to their story, I noticed how much the husband resembled my husband. It was almost if my husband were standing on the platform saying things such as “You must fight for your marriage” and “Your struggle is worth it” and “Stick with your partner and work things out.”

I had no clue that God was working in me and on behalf of our marriage. God had a miracle for me and our marriage right there in front of me. Not yet being a Christian, I didn’t recognize God’s hand in my situation. BUT…..I yielded to the goodness that was portrayed through this couple’s testimony. They told us that their miracle was possible for everyone. So, I decided that I would be that “everyone” in my situation.

I was so excited…especially since this man looked so much like my husband. I returned home where my husband was babysitting our children, filled with joy and hope. I told him what I had heard and asked him if he would like to try to make our marriage work. He said, that he had been thinking about the same thing all night. Well, isn’t that just like God?

Marriage Restored and Ready to Be Born Again

So, we made a mutual decision to come together again. With the help of friends, we worked through some hard places in our marriage. A few months later we were born again. It was the best day of our lives. And here we are at 32 years of marriage. Praise the Lord!

Later, my husband and I returned to one of those meetings where I had heard the life-changing testimony. I wanted to tell that couple how much their testimony had blessed us, and tell them our testimony, of course. This time, to my surprise, the husband didn’t at all resemble my husband. My perceiving him that way was part of how God worked a miracle for us. He wants to do the same for you if you will yield to His goodness. God is a good God. He loves you unconditionally. His mercy is there for you all the time. Receive it by releasing all that bitter junk that is compromising your marriage.

Six Key Ideas To Elevate the Importance of Your Marriage

If you want to begin putting the same importance on your marriage as God does, I Peter 3:1-13 provides six key ideas to make your marriage stronger and to help you grow together as husband and wife.

1. Adapt yourselves (I Peter 3:1 AMP)
The Amplified Bible translates submit as adapt yourselves to them. Submit doesn’t imply being a doormat. To adapt means to “fit and flow together.” It is a wonderful thing when a husband and wife flow together in everything that they do and in everything that they envision in their life.

2. Honor your mate
When you honor someone, you treat them as you wish to be treated. Do you wish to be treated as a king? Then treat your mate in the same manner. If you are the king, treat her like a queen. If you are the queen, treat him like a king. Your act of honoring will return honor to you.

3. Be of one mind (I Peter 3:8)
It takes effort to be of one mind (one in thought), but it is possible. We need to grow in our communication. We also need to be able to receive and give correction to one another. In order to give correction, you must be able to receive it.

4. Show compassion to one another
You need to be able to feel what your mate is going through. The KJV version tells in 1Peter 3:8 that we need to be courteous; I always appreciate it when my husband is courteous to me.

5. Do not render evil for evil
Whatever you sow, you will reap (Galatians 6:7). This is true for every area of life. Plant a seed of love when your mate is going through a difficult time, or when you’re in a situation prone to strife. Don’t join in the strife with your mate. Sow mercy and love into the situation, and you’ll see your mate change before your eyes. You will reap what you have sown, good or bad.

6. Flee evil situations
Run from the appearance of evil. If you’re in a situation that’s a temptation to you, whether it’s on the job or wherever it might be, obey the warnings your spirit gives you.

It is really important that you not only love each other, but that you appreciate each other as husband and wife

To Sum It Up

Whether your marriage is in the valley of despair (like mine was), mundane, or on the mountaintop, it’s important to pay attention and do things to nurture it.

 

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Don’t Be Controlled and Manipulated

July 25, 2012 by 30 Comments
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Don’t Be Controlled and Manipulated

 by Olga Hermans

 

God has placed a divine destiny on your life. As you begin to walk in this destiny, you will not only have to deny yourself, you’ll also have to say “no” to others when the demands they place on you are in conflict with how the Holy Spirit is leading you.

If we are overly committed and caught up in meeting other people’s needs, it may be an indicator that something is out of balance. Our first priority is to seek wisdom regarding any commitment. For a season, the Holy Spirit may lead us to give sacrificially of our time and ourselves. But God is our source and we need to always stay connected to Him with our spirit, soul and body.

Taking proper care of ourselves is not selfish when it’s for the purpose of being a fit vessel. How can we be of service when we are depleted spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally? It is possible to carry this idea too far and become preoccupied with our own interests at the expense of serving others. That’s not what I’m suggesting. But I am saying that we cannot be continually responsible for others’ poor choices.

Many believers take on burdens and responsibilities that they were never intended to bear. We think we must meet every need we encounter. For some, it’s very easy to habitually take on others’ responsibilities. Those habits, left unchecked, can lead to believing that it is our job to keep everybody happy. It is one thing to be used of God as a source and it’s entirely another to take on others’ responsibilities to the extent that WE become their source.

And those who have no intention of carrying their own burdens, or of being responsible for their own choices, seem to have a sixth sense as to who are these hyper-responsible Christians. They seek them out like a heat-seeking missile, ready to offload their own God-given destinies and responsibilities on these willing burden bearers. Although they may not be aware of it, these people want to manipulate and control you. The truth is that some people don’t want to be helped; they don’t want to change. They like the attention their problems bring them. If we seek the Holy Spirit about our commitments, He will guide us as to whether to become involved or not.

It’s upsetting, frustrating, and discouraging when we find that we’ve made a wrong choice of taking on way too much responsibility for someone who won’t do what is right. Being responsible for someone else’s lifestyle choices and happiness is a heavy load.

It is not God’s intent for us to be controlled and manipulated by people who refuse to make good choices. We cannot be responsible for anyone else’s happiness. Even Jesus did not promise to give us happiness – no questions asked. Instead, His Word instructs in the way that leads to joy. If others are controlling us, it’s not their fault; it’s our own. We must be led by the Spirit to set appropriate boundaries. For example, don’t allow people to call at all hours of the day and night to dump their problems on you.

My oldest sister, who is mentally ill, still lives in The Netherlands. I don’t know how she did it, but she could make me feel so guilty whenever I didn’t do whatever she wanted. A few years ago, I would call her every day at the same time to speak scriptures over her life. She really enjoyed it and seemed to be doing so much better.

At some point, my husband and I scheduled a conference in Dallas. My sister expressed how afraid she was to have to miss our daily calls, so I agreed to call her every day while we were in Dallas. I disrupted my schedule and my focus on the conference to call her at our agreed upon time, but she wasn’t in. She had gone to a movie. I finally realized that even though she is mentally ill, I had to respond differently to the expectations she placed on me. My decision to set boundaries with her was very hard on me, but I had to do it.

Quit trying to be the keeper of the universe. That is not your job. Of course, it is not easy at first. God calls us to be givers and care for each other. But there is a big difference between caring and giving and allowing somebody to control you and make you feel guilty until you do what they want.

Will you choose to free yourself from being a people-pleaser and give those people to God?

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Joy Stealers; What Is That All About?

November 17, 2011 by 11 Comments
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Joy Stealers; What Is That All About?

by Olga Hermans

 

 

  In our previous post we talked about the fact that joy is not the same as happiness. Thank you so much for all your emails and comments. I really do appreciate them! A few months ago I watched a service online where Dr. Don Colbert talked about joy stealers.

Just like those happiness traps that we get stuck in, there are also joy stealers. There are attitudes, that when you have them, you will not be able to enter into joy. I always appreciate Dr. Colbert and I follow a lot of his advice, especially this one on joy stealers. That’s why I like to share these with you today.

1. A critical, complaining attitude. If you have a critical, complaining attitude, you can never sow seeds of joy and reap a harvest of joy. You can NEVER do that! Philippians 2:14 says: Do all things without grumbling and faultfinding and complaining [against God] and questioning and doubting [among yourselves] Not some things, ALL things!

You have to identify this. If you have it or your spouse has it, repent and resist this attitude. We all know how the Israelites grumbled in the desert; they are a great example to us. They had a grumbling, faultfinding and complaining attitude.

They hated the manna that God gave them from heaven every day that had every bit of nourishment in it they needed to live free of disease for years and years. Numbers tells us that there were fiery serpents among them, they bit the people and many of them died. So, the people asked Moses to pray for the Lord to take the serpents out of their midst.

Did the Lord take the serpents away? NO! Here is why: If you are murmuring and complaining, faultfinding; guess what? You are going to be in trial after trial after trial, represented by the many, many snakes. God is not taking the snakes away; you have to deal with it with an attitude of gratitude.

God hates a murmuring, faultfinding, complaining attitude and if you have that attitude; repent, because you will never have joy with that attitude; ever. Here is the 2nd joy-stealer attitude

2. Offense. If you get offended easily, you will never have joy: impossible!

You might think that your situation is much different from any other because nobody can understand what has been done to you. Listen to what Paul said in Acts 24:16 … I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men.

He exercised to be free of offense, In other words, he worked at it and kept working at it. Every single day! A lot of people keep offense towards God when a loved one died because of a car accident. Do you know what unforgiveness does in the body? It causes the stress response in the body to become stuck.

Just like an accelerator on a car can become stuck, you can get stuck. You stir in your own stress juices and these stress juices were meant to save your life in the short run but they also will destroy your life in the long run when they are stimulated continuously! A chronic stress response is deadly and causes tremendous disease. It is at the root of most diseases.

The main thing that gets people stuck in that stress response is: offense, unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment. Forgiveness is that important! Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Eph 4:31 It says ALL bitterness and ALL anger, ALL rage.

The word ALL is very important. And it says to be kind to one another, tender-hearted and forgiving one another, just as Jesus has forgiven you. You might think that this is not fair. It is not about being fair, it is about being obedient to God’s Word.

God knows that if you don’t do this, it is going to eventually effect your health and it will eventually poison every relationship you are in and it is going to eventually affect your health and destroy your health; mentally, emotionally and it will also affect your relationship with God.

Many people cannot simply feel the presence of God; their prayers are not being answered and that is because they have a spirit of offense. They carry bitterness and they do not release the hurt. Let me tell you, if you don’t forgive them; you are going to pay the price.

Jesus said: If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15 That’s why proverbs says: above all else, guard your heart because out of it flow the issue of life.

We have to guard our heart, we cannot let bitterness in, and we cannot let offense in because it will destroy our joy and we will never be able to plant seeds of joy and have a harvest of joy. You will always wonder, why that other person is so happy and why can I never sense the presence of God? That is because of that poisonous root of bitterness that will always destroy and prevent happiness form taking root.

3. The person with stinking thinking. If you want to discover the life you were born to live, you have to learn how we can clean our thinking up.

Mark Twain said: I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

The majority of bad things we think are going to happen to us, never happen. Phil.2:5 says: “allow this mind to be in you”, which means that we can have the mind of Christ or allow this mind that was in Jesus to be in us, which means we can have the mind of Christ, but we need to get the word of God inside of us and we have to get the trash out.

We sometimes carry too many deadly emotions inside us and “somebody has done me wrong songs”. We have to allow God to change the way we think. Rom.12:2 Dr. Colbert also taught that we have a joy center in the brain, did you know that?

He came up with research after research, very interesting! He is writing a book about it, which will be released sometime soon. He said that when this joycenter is developed, it has executive control just like the president; it has executive control over the entire emotional system. Also, when it is developed, it regulates emotion, pain and immunity.

The joycenter, if it is developed, is able to override the main drive centers of food, sexual impulses, temper and rage. So, if you can effectively develop this joycenter, guess what? You’ll be able to resist giving into any cravings for food (even chocolate), sexual impulse cravings, affairs and pornography and sexual addictions. You can resist terror, and you can overcome it.

You can resist giving into rage; you can resist giving into blind rage or fury. You can control it. Because when you develop that joy center it is literally to exert executive control over every emotional center in your mind. That means it overcomes depression, fear, anxiety, guilt, shame, blame, etc.

Every single emotion has to bow before the chief executive which is the joy center. Well, I thought this was worth writing a post about, what do you think? I value your comments! You can subscribe to

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It’s Time To Live In The Blessing

October 31, 2011 by 7 Comments
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 It’s Time To Live in the Blessing

by Olga Hermans


My pastor is preaching about the blessing; he is teaching us how we can live in the blessing every day of the year. It is very interesting and it moves me to do something with that knowledge. I have heard more preachers preach this message; have you? It is an awesome inspiring and important truth. We live and move in the blessing because Jesus is the blessing; He is our jubilee! If you are born again, He lives on the inside of you.

If you are not growing, if you feel unfulfilled, unsettled, and out of place, it could be that you are ready for a change. There is a place God has designed where opportunities find you, a place where His blessings overtake you. People are hungry for goodness. They are hungry for joy. Everybody is ready for something to happen in their life, are you?

I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out–plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jer 29:11 Msg.

God has a good place and a good plan for you! God has a particular place for each one of us, a place where each of us will find our highest purpose, where we will thrive and reflect God’s greatness. God will bless you when you are where you’re supposed to be physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I encourage you to find that place.

Don’t settle for anything less than the best God has for you! You can tell your place of blessing by how it feels to you: this is where I am supposed to be. Just lately I joined Toastmasters. My friend Pat Cruickshank introduced me to this group. The first evening that I visited I knew that I knew I had to join and I did. I did my first speech already and it went very, very well. But there was a knowing on the inside of me that I had to do this and that is the reason why I joined; no other reason!

When we were young we played a game with our children at our home. We would hide a toy or a candy around the house and ask Josephine and David (our children) to find them. When they came close to the “hidden treasure” we would tell them they were getting warmer and warmer until they’d be right there, when we would say or yell “You are red hot!” If they would go in the wrong direction, away from the hidden goodies, we would say, “You’re getting colder. Now you’re getting freezing cold!”

I would like to encourage you to always move toward places that warm you up that way, and move away from those that leave you cold. Move to the place that feels right to you, and wait for the blessing of the Lord right there.

As you obey God and follow His plan for your life, “The lord shall increase you more and more” Psalm 115:14. Just keep walking in the ways of the Lord, trusting His goodness, and He will lead you into a land of milk and honey. He will provide you a place where you can enjoy days of heaven on earth. Deut.11:21

I said, keep walking with the Lord and He will lead you. How will He lead you? He will lead you by His Holy Spirit, according to the plan He has laid out for your individual life. You know, God did not wake up one day when you were about twenty years old and say, “I guess I need to figure out something for this person to do now.” He didn’t just leave you on your own to come up with something to do with your life.

No, God knew you before the foundation of the world. Before you were ever born. He had a plan for you; a great, victorious, wonderful, abundantly prosperous plan. He has a calling and a purpose for every one of His children to fulfill. He has a plan, a place, and a responsibility for each one of us to do.

He has created us in such a way that when we find and begin to do those things we’re created for, we will be happy and our lives will be very, very good.

For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live]. Ephesians 2:10 Ampl.

Think about it. Living the good life! I can handle that. You are God’s own handiwork. You are divinely designed to fulfill the good destiny God has planned for you. When you were born, God placed certain abilities, dreams, and desires within you that would help equip you for what He wanted you to do. Even before you gave your life to Him, while you were still a sinner, they were there.

You have to believe God has a plan for you or you will never be able to walk in it. You will constantly be worrying and wavering. Right now you might be thinking, It’s too late now. I haven’t been listening to God and obeying Him. I have been doing my own thing for years and my life is totally messed up. I don’t think even God can fix it. I think I missed my chance to walk out His plan.

No, you haven’t missed your chance. All you have to do is make a turn. Instead of running away from Him, run to Him like you would run to someone you really love and trust. Start going after Him with all your heart. God can take any life and any situation and turn it around. He loves to do that and He is good at it! I know from experience. He is just waiting for you to give Him the opportunity.

With God we always have a good future ahead of us. It may take some time for God to lead you completely out of the trouble you are in, and you will have to receive wisdom from Him to do it. You can ask for wisdom, He will give it to you liberally. Plus I am here to help you as well. If you don’t know my eBook and Action Guide yet, you definitely have to check them out by clicking here.

 

 

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The Responsibilities of Responsible People

October 13, 2011 by 22 Comments
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The Responsibilities of Responsible People

by Olga Hermans 

 

 

Do you like gong to the movies? Just a week ago my husband and I went to see the movie “Courageous”. We were very, very impressed. This movie is advertised as a powerful motion picture about police officer dads who struggle with their roles as fathers.

The men in the movie have to face their biggest challenge, which is fatherhood. Being a “good enough” father doesn’t cut it when tragedy strikes and the faith of these four men is tested. When secrets are revealed and life becomes unbareable, they must draw closer to God and their families to survive.

Have you ever been in a place like that? I sure have and at the moment it wasn’t fun, but after some time when I was able to look back I could see my inner growth and how I made progress in many areas of my life. You know, you only can make progress when you take responsibility in your own life. You will be able to manage others when you are able to manage yourself first.

That is where responsibility comes in. Adam Mitchell, the main character in the movie first had to take responsibility for his own life before he was able to reach out to others.

Being responsible is something a lot of people don’t know much about. A faithful person is a responsible person. To be responsible is to give account or to be dependable.

Reliable friends who do what they say are
like cool drinks in sweltering heat–refreshing! Pro 25:13

NO wonder Solomon said this person is “as refreshing as a cool drink in sweltering heat” A responsible person is one who can be trusted. These kinds of people are hard to find, but when we find them we will notice that they are different than the average person; their motives are totally different.

 

Here are 2 of the elements RESPONSIBLE  people have:

1. They are motivated because they feel responsible; because they want to be trusted, they are willing to prove themselves. These people are driven by certain ethics and principles that they will fight for.

For example, abortion is an issue that may not affect us or our family, but we may fight against it and be willing to risk our friendships or reputation without any personal benefits.

These people are fixed; they have a firm foundation that they live by. They are people of value. They take pride in being strong and they don’t care if they are different.

2. They are motivated because they feel responsible to keep going.

For example, someone who is a millionaire several times over and has all he will ever need to go fishing or traveling for the rest of his life, but instead, he or she keeps on working every day and may even undertake something totally new and keep on going.

Some people may see that as greedy, but this person simply enjoys being responsible and likes to be an achiever. These people may do what others say can’t be done, simply for the sake of accomplishment.

Being responsible is more than making a commitment. It is a desire or an inner force that holds them accountable to themselves. They do things for the sake of getting them done or for the enjoyment of seeing them done.

Being responsible just for the sake of being responsible will make you a great servant. Jesus was a true servant. He had nothing to gain for himself. He gave up His reputation to build His name. He was humiliated and rejected to gain our trust. He was truly and purely motivated from within.

He saw what we were, and took the responsibility of making sure we got the opportunity of being what we could be. It cost Him something, but He now has earned the greatest name ever in history of mankind, and also in the world to come.

The Father sent Him on a mission because He knew that He was responsible and could be trusted. He was and still is as refreshing as cool drinks in the sweltering heat of a hot summer.

We too, have to make a choice to be willing to be responsible to achieve our dreams and our destiny. We have to set a good example. It is so very important because people believe a lot more of what they see you do than what they hear you say. So, take the responsibility to set a good example.

Living responsibly in our society is a big job. I think we should watch ourselves a little more and not be a hypocrite. Author and speaker John Maxwell says everything rises and falls on leadership. I believe that. What about you?

My Question to you is: Do you consider yourself a responsible person? How well are you currently applying this principle in your life?

 

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How Spicing Up Your Life Can Make You Happier!

October 10, 2011 by 17 Comments
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How Spicing Up Your Life Can Make You Happier!

by Olga Hermans

Happiness does not depend on your circumstances … it is a choice that you make. The first step is to make a conscious choice to boost your happiness; the bottom line is if you want to be happy, you need to make a decision to be happy right now.

An extraordinary number of people are asking questions about their own happiness on the internet, and many are not satisfied with the answers they often find. Why not? Don’t they want to make a choice? Happiness and other positive emotions play an even more important role in health than previously thought, according to a study published in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine by Carnegie Mellon University Psychology Professor Sheldon Cohen.

If you want to spice up your life to be happier, you must develop a habit of happiness. You must learn to relax and go with the flow, instead of getting frustrated. You have to believe that God is in control, and that means you have no need to be stressed out or worried.

Moreover you need to be grateful for what you have, rather than complaining about what you don’t have. A habit of happiness boils down to staying on the positive side of life. Each day is full of surprises and inconveniences, so you must accept the fact that not everything is going to always go your way. Your plans are not always going to work out just as you scheduled them.

The Bible says, “Rejoice in the Lord always.” 1Thess. 5:16 The Msg. Bible says: “Be cheerful no matter what” Another translation simply says, “Be happy all the time.” That means no matter what comes your way; we can have smiles on our faces. We should get up each morning excited about that day.

I can tell you that this does not come naturally to me; I am a person that really has to work on this. I have a more serious and observant personality. Although I can really cheer up when circumstances are good and all that good stuff. So, if I want to spice up my life to be happy and I do, I have to cheer up a little.

I have learned the hard way to not be so rigid and be set in my ways. Life is too short to live it stressed out. Besides, prolonged stress can damage your health and significantly shorten your life. I don’t want to live with knots in my stomach because some person is not doing what I want them to do.

You and I can make a choice to be more flexible and have a more easygoing attitude. Think about it. Ten years from now, many of the things that we are allowing to create stress in our life won’t even matter. You and I won’t care that we were stuck in traffic or that Thanksgiving will be different that we had planned.

Make a decision that you’re going to be happy even if you get stuck in traffic, even if the waitress spills something on your new outfit, even if you have to wait in that long line.

God did not create you to be a negative-thinking person. He didn’t make any of us to live depressed, stressed out, worried, or frustrated. God intends for you to be happy, content and to enjoy your life.

Take an honest look at your life. Are you as happy as you know you should be deep down inside? Do you get up each day excited about your future? Are you enjoying your family? Enjoying your friends? If not, what is stealing your joy and causing you to get upset? Why are you worried?

It is a good thing to take inventory and then take it one step further. Begin renewing your mind in those areas. Many times, you can make a small change; a minor adjustment in your attitude, or a minor adjustment in how you treat people; a minor adjustment in how you respond to problems and it will make a huge difference in your life and in your level of joy. This definitely will spice up your life.

There is so much sadness in our world today. Many people are sick physically because they are living so stressed out, uptight and worried. The apostle Paul said, “I have learned how to be content no matter what state I am in.” In other words, “This doesn’t come automatically.”

We must do the same thing. Happiness is not going to fall on us. It is a choice we have to make. Being positive doesn’t necessarily come naturally. We have to make a decision daily. Our mind, left alone, will often drift toward the negative. If we don’t stay on the offensive, little by little we will grow more sullen. Soon, we’re not as much fun to be around.

We start to find fault. We get critical. Refusing to allow these negative habits take hold of us will spice up your life and can make you a much happier person. When you get out of bed in the morning and put a smile on your face, Set the tone right at the start of your day.

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Prayer: The Breakfast of Champions

September 19, 2011 by 23 Comments
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Prayer: The Breakfast of Champions

By: Olga Hermans

 

“If I fail to spend two hours in prayer each morning, the devil gets the victory through the day.
I have so much business I cannot get on without spending three hours daily in prayer.”
~ Martin Luther

Prayer is the backbone of a successful life and many successful people know that very well. They take their time to be still and envision their day together with the Lord. Effective prayer will cause you to soar like an eagle in God’s plans for you.

I know people who are successful who will give credit to God, because they know that their success came from the time they spent early in the morning with their maker.

Let’s look at these points once stated by my late Pastor Billy Joe Daugherty. Why Early Morning Prayer would you say?

1.   Jesus did it

Jesus set the example for us in prayer. He got up early in the morning and found a place where He could be alone to start His day with prayer. So, if Jesus started his day with prayer, how much more do we need to start out with prayer? He taught us to go in our prayer closet; wherever your place is, is not important, as long as you can settle your heart in front of the Lord and receive from Him for the day that is ahead of you.

2.   The way you start something has a great effect on the way it ends up

If you start out communing with the Lord, there is a big chance that you will be in communion with Him throughout your day. The way you start out can have a definite effect on the way things will look in the end. When a sailboat starts out, the way the sails are set determines the direction the boat will go. The way you set your sails at the start of your day determines the course you will follow during the day.

3.   When you pray early in your day, you will get an attitude adjustment!

It has been said many times that attitude determines altitude. The pitch of an airplane determines how high it will fly. The nose needs to be turned upward to fly higher, right? It’s the same with or lives. If we haven’t set our lives in the right direction, we will continue to fly on a straight course and never gain any altitude. But when we start out by setting our affection on God, something happens and we begin to climb higher and higher.

4.   It is important to start your day with prayer because many interruptions come in the middle of the day.

You can pray through your schedule each day. Pray though each thing that you know is going to happen. Ask the Lord for direction and prioritize your activities. Many people jump out of bed, run for breakfast, go to work and sometime in the middle of the day, they might think about God. But then they might not, because their schedule is so demanding.

5.   When you are hungry for fellowship with God, you will take time for early Morning Prayer.

Some people work night shifts, which makes it difficult for them to start early in the morning. The key, however, is to set a time, preferably at the start of your day whatever that timeslot might be for you. Families are wonderful and your spouse might be the best thing for you, but there is just something about having a quiet time with the Lord. If you spend time with Him, you will be on top.

6.   Just as you would fill your gas tank before you start out on a trip, you need to fill your mind with God’s Word and prayer before you start your day.

Then you are prepared for the reversals, emotional situations and bad attitudes that you may encounter during the day. All the frustrations and hassles we face could be because we haven’t won the battle in prayer before we started the day. Problems arise and demands come up, and sometimes there is more demand than there is of you! You need to fuel up on the Word and prayer before you start your day!

7.   In Exodus 16, the Lord told the children of Israel to get their manna before the sun got hot on the ground.

Manna is Living Bread and that is Jesus. That means to get a fresh word from heaven from the Word of God before you start your day. There is just something about getting up early to gather your manna at the start of the day.  People who don’t set their sails on God early in the day many times forget about Him during the day, and they go in the power of their own flesh.

8.   When you start your time of prayer with praise to the Lord, you will receive revelation, instruction, inspiration, strength, peace, deliverance from temptation, refreshing and restoration.

People faint and become weary when they do not wait upon the Lord in a time dedicated to prayer. When people talk about how weary they are and how difficult their spiritual life is, they actually say that their prayerlife has ebbed away. Isaiah 40:28-31 tells us clearly that those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will exchange their weakness for the strength of God.

9.   Giving God the first part of your day is part of the spiritual law of giving the first fruits. If you give God the first part of your day, He will multiply time back to you.

Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for GOD’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Pro 3:5-6

God will guide the path you take if you pray over it. But if you don’t acknowledge God and ask for His wisdom, He could be standing right in front of you with the answer to every problem you are facing, but you are too busy trying to solve your own problems and trying to make things happen in the flesh.

God wants to speak to you in early Morning Prayer. If you take time to listen, you will hear God speak.

When the gate of your day is guarded with prayer, the devil won’t be able to gain entrance into your life because you will be alert to his tactics. Without early morning prayer, however, people’s minds and spirits aren’t that alert to the voice of God.

But when you get up early in the morning and God speaks to you at the start of your day, it will carry you, guard you and keep you on course. I, myself, have experienced both; there were times in my life that I skipped my time with the Lord early in the morning and there is that time that I love to go in front of the Lord and open up my heart to receive from Him and leave all my cares of the day with Him. The latter is the best of course.

God will never condemn you; He loves you no matter what you have done; He is always there for you. For me; I live each day with the understanding that if it were not for God’s unconditional love and grace, I would not be where I am today.

Let us know and share with our readers how you set your time with God. Be an encouragement to others, because that is what we need. Thank you so much for doing that.

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How Boundaries Can Save Your Life

September 15, 2011 by 13 Comments
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How Boundaries Can Save Your Life

by Olga Hermans

The other day we were having a good time in a coffee shop with some friends, as all of a sudden one of our friends wanted to trade places with one of the women. It was very obvious that he was irritated and wanted to sit in a different place quickly. I asked him what was going on and guess what he said? “Too much skin”. As I looked at the view that he had in his old place, it was not particularly a very tasteful view.

Have you ever been to a restaurant with your spouse and the waitresses almost dress like “hookers”? Their skirt is higher than the edge of the table and their “girls” are hanging out of their shirt and bouncing for attention. I am sorry but that is so distasteful to me, that I want to get up and go somewhere else.

Why do girls do that? Like it or not, you’re being watched. People watch people. Guys particularly watch girls and women. They watch how you dress. They watch your behaviour patterns. They watch any signal you send. Whether you are naive or purposeful in what you do makes no difference to the fact that they watch you, they are aware of both circumstances; they do recognize naivete, and they know when a girl is purposefully luring them.

I can remember myself, how naive I was in my early teens. When the trend was to wear mini-skirts, I went along and wore my skirts as short as possible. Looking back now, I realize why I might have been doing that. I didn’t feel good about myself and wanted to express that one way or another. I was raped when I was 13 and hadn’t told anybody. The first man in my life had overpowered me and used me in a very humiliating way. So, to cope with the pain on the inside I dressed “cheap” and craved the attention. DUMB!!!

Girls who are fashion-conscious but naive to the fact that society is pushing sexual “freedom” and hedonism (the attitude of “whatever feels good, do it”) could be setting themselves up for hurt and regret.

I remember a young, beautiful Christian woman who always dressed in the latest fashion, wearing clothes tight enough to emphasize her good figure. She simply thought people would admire her good figure, assuming that guys would just “look but not touch.” She liked being watched, but was not prepared for someone crossing the boundary with her. She didn’t realize that there was a guy watching her and waiting for the moment to rape her. Of course, he had no right to rape her, but did she set herself up? She had grown up in church and had always felt very protected.

How far does God’s protection go when we move beyond the boundaries that God has warned us to establish? You could ask yourself if it is possible to be a Christian girl or woman and believe in God, attend church regularly, and yet go beyond the boundary of “the secret place” of God’s covering, (see Ps.91) and become an open target for attack?

Some girls don’t want to think about it. They want to believe that as long as they aren’t thinking about sexually arousing a guy, even if they are dressing immodestly or wearing clothes that focus on certain body parts, they are okay.

Many times girls just don’t realize that what they wear or how they carry themselves sends signals to guys. Hosea 4:6 says: “people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…” Where there is a lack of knowledge, there is a lack of discernment and discretion, which will lead a girl or woman into trouble. And the enemy is always looking for an opportunity to cause pain and hurt. 1Peter 5:8

A person who neglects to establish boundaries in her life is setting herself up to be used, abused, and taken advantage of. If you don’t set the boundaries, your body will become the property of someone who has no right of ownership. Without boundaries, a girl or woman today can not only be hurt but also destroyed. You and I probably know enough stories which is very sad in itself.

There are many good boundaries in the earth that have been created by God. He created a boundary between the ocean and dry land. He created trees to grow to a certain designated height. He placed the sun at a specific distance from the earth so that the earth and its occupants would not burn.

We as human beings have also established many boundaries. For example, governmental agencies set limits or consequences to protect its citizens so that someone won’t feel at liberty to destroy another person or his property.

On a personal level, I have placed boundaries over my own life; I have chosen to restrain myself in certain matters, and I also have chosen to restrain others from taking advantage of me. But to do this, I first had to think about how I dress, how I behave, and how others might view me. This isn’t bondage; rather, it is protecting that which is valuable to me and my life.

My Question to you is: Are there some boundaries in your life that you have established and are they working?

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The moral and ethical side of wanting to make a lot of money in business

September 12, 2011 by 14 Comments
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You Are in For A Treat!!

 

Today I am honored to bring a post by my coach Sandi Krakowski to the table. She has boosted my life and my business in many ways beyond what I could have ever imagined. She is a no-nonsense teacher and knows how to keep you on track. Meeting her and hooking up with her has been one of the best choices in my life. There is always a challenge when you read one of her posts or attend one of her business calls. So today I want to bring that blessing right here on The Choice Driven Life. Let us know how much you enjoyed today’s post!

This article was first published in A Real Change. To receive your own FREE “Make More Money With Your Blog” training, go to ARealChange.com and claim your free coaching class NOW!

The moral and ethical side of wanting
to make a lot of money in business

By:  Sandi Krakowski

In today’s economy, many people are looking for a small business as a way to supplement or replace a lost income. Some even desire to replace a current working income because they are not enjoying the current condition of Corporate America. Having your own business that operates virtually online has become the path to ‘dreams come true’ for people who would have never thought of doing so in the past.

As we’ve had the opportunity to coach many new and aspiring business owners one of the first things I ask of my clients is WHY are they wanting to work online and run their own business. Unanimously, the common answer I always hear is a desire to make more money.

When someone wants to make more money there are a host of challenges that arise that many new business owners are not prepared for. Something I’d like to shed some light on is the fact that desiring to make a lot of money in business is not only a great moral desire but also a very ethical desire.  One of the reasons creating a lot of money in business is both ethical and moral is that in order to succeed in business you must work on more than just learning new marketable skills.

The CEO must work on becoming a better person who can run, manage and create a large business. As a matter of fact this is one of the biggest things that a business owner must do to be successful and it is the place where success separates from mediocre. In other words, many aspire to succeed; few will walk the road it takes to get to where they’re dreaming of being.

One very prevalent thing new business owners are facing as they seek to build a company is that most people believe that building a big business is inherently bad. Many think they have not been influenced by the things that are directed towards the attack of wealth and business but the reality is there is a long term ripple effect that has been building up for years that makes it a big challenge to move forward in prosperity as a business owner.

Rabbi Daniel Lapin shares in his book, “Thou Shall Prosper”

“Understand that it is very unlikely that you have not been at least slightly impacted by the culture’s slander of business. For those doubtful of how successful the campaign to discredit the worthiness of business has been, Business Week featured a cover story entitled, “Too Much Corporate Power” Sept 2000 that quantified American attitudes toward business with polls

72% of Americans agreed that business has gained too much power over too many aspects of American life.
Only 47 percent agree that “in general, what is good for business is good for most Americans” (down from 72% in 1996)
66 percent agree that “large profits are more important to business than developing safe, reliable, quality products”
Only 27 percent thought that business had “fair and reasonable prices, relative to their profits”

While certainly admiring the achievements of many of today’s wildly successful young entrepreneurs, many Americans have become conditioned to distrust the morality of business. “

If as a society we distrust the morality and ethical value of growing enormous profits as a company it is a natural law of success and wealth that we will struggle to increase our own personal wealth as a business owner until we rectify this on a personal level. To see if you happen to have such judgements and skepticism of company growth and the rich, ask yourself if you’ve ever made comments about those “Big deep pocketed executives who are only out for themselves” or have you given into popular opinion that the “Rich should be taxed because they can afford to cover the rest of us who are struggling.” Judging and distrusting the rich is a huge error if you aspire to increase your own personal wealth.

Daniel Lapin continues with this profoundly disturbing but truthful statement-

“Here is the message that the culture is broadcasting: If you cause unbearable pain to others while in pursuit of your sexual pleasure, you will find understanding and sympathy. However, if you are a businessperson causing even the slightest tinge of discomfort to others while in pursuit of profit and wealth, you will immediately and unconditionally be condemned as immoral.”

As I coach one on one with many clients and in groups with 40-80 clients at a time, I have become very painfully aware of how many people are not only judging the rich they are nearly terrified to break out of the set pattern of our culture and will unconsciously do anything they can to prevent themselves from being successful. The occurrence of procrastination increases, the reasons for not moving forward rise and the extenuating circumstances that prevent one from really working as hard as they can and giving it their all come in more flavors than even ice cream. Sadly, most people who say they want to make more money have never even considered let alone truly given intense thought to the moral and ethical side of making money.

When we add in the dignity and morality of business, the reality of inviting real mentorship into your space and getting to know oneself at a deep level, most people grow so uncomfortable they will stop before acquiring any level of success. If they do move forward, once the realization that they must drop the idol of perfection, learn to know and act on what is coming in the future and really do what it takes to succeed in business on a daily level, most people will succumb to what they’ve always known. They recoil and take the ‘well worn path’, even though it’s really a place of misery and distraught and the argument and war against wealth continues, full steam ahead.

My friends, did you ever dream in a million years that you are actually fighting a moral and ethical war when you seek to increase your own personal wealth, grow a big company, create jobs for many people and provide for those who cannot provide for themselves? Success is far more than a dream, it’s something that in order to achieve you’ll need to truly get over lesser things and grow as the Champion you were designed to be.

I’ll never forget when God had a heart to heart talk with me and told me to STOP worrying about what people think of me. He told me that it was far more than getting over my insecurities and fears of what people thought of me. It was greater than being concerned about the judgements that they had against me. He said that I had entered the realm that was in war for quite sometime before I even got there and while I certainly am not at the level of many big high level corporations, I had entered the rank of battle that many company owners know nothing about because they quit far too soon.

I want to challenge you today, to ask yourself why you want to make more money in business. Is it merely to increase your own personal net worth? And if it isn’t just for your own personal satisfaction and consumption are you willing to make a commitment to not only build a business, but become a NEW you?

Wealth will require the following equation.   

Increased Wealth =  The New You – The Old You

This equation was first presented to me in Daniel Lapin’s book and it really gave me an enormous breakthrough. The concept of getting new friends, a new mind, new ways of thinking and doing things is not a mere suggestion for those who wish to get a raise on a job, it’s an absolute requirement if you desire to create a entirely new future for yourself and your family. The New You will attract new opportunities, it will increase your confidence, you’ll make more money and more people will be attracted to you because of this. In other words, to acquire more money you CANNOT stay the same, stay who you are or continue to live as you do. It will require that you work on far more than merely new learning skills. Anyone who tells you to get new skills is really short changing the equation of real wealth creation- get a new YOU for a new life and a new bank account is the reality you’ll end up with.

Lastly, because it is a moral and ethical thing to make more money, I have another challenge to present you with today. Here is it. It is perfectly acceptable and kosher for you to ask God to help you to make more money. It’s perfectly acceptable for you to ask God for more money in general! If you are comfortable with prayer, go ahead and include a request for prosperity in your prayer time. What you are truly asking for my friends, is an increased opportunity to serve your fellow human beings and make an impact to benefit others.

That… is what A Real Change is all about.

Sandi Krakowski

 

Sandi Krakowski is a Mompreneur, Coach, Strategist & Mentor, Online Marketing Expert, Speaker, Writer, Copywriter. Mindset & Marketing For Small Biz Owners.  Her unique talent is as a “Back To Basics Step By Step Business” expert who currently serves more than 150,000 clients in over 136 countries. Her systems help the average business owner as well as big corporations get extra-ordinary results quickly. She has a track record for her ‘bringing it into action’ processes that company owners find easy to implement with quick results. She has been working online successfully for the last 14 years and built 11 successful companies ranging from eCommerce to Direct Sales to a Copywriting Firm, Marketing Business, Consulting, Coaching, Info Products and her current business A Real Change Int’l.

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You Can Live the Satisfied Life

September 5, 2011 by 13 Comments
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Living the Satisfied Life

by Olga Hermans

 

Have you ever thought about what it is that brings true satisfaction and fulfillment in life? How you can find that contentment that will last longer this time? We clutter our life with so much meaningless work and activities that it is easy to lose sight of the way that God has meant your existence to be. He designed us and it is up to us to discover the life we were born to live.

Life is meant to be enjoyable, fulfilling, and satisfying; there is so much more to it than just existing or struggling or even surviving. I just have been watching a teaching from Dr. Don Colbert and he said that things/material possessions only produce 10% happiness. Personality makes up about 50% and 40% comes from how we think, our actions and reactions. I thought that was very interesting, because we think, in our way of living, that things bring us the satisfaction that we desire so much.

Truly happy people have found that fulfillment finds its source deep within and is largely unaffected by external surroundings or material possessions. The world however thinks totally different; the world is always pulling us to buy this and do that and most of the times, we fall into that trap.

Several years ago, a U.S. news magazine conducted a survey, questioning people in various income categories. People with an annual income of $25,000 were asked how much money it would take for them to live “the American Dream.” The average answer was $54,000 annually. The same question was asked of people making $100,000 annually; their average answer was $192,000.

What do the results of this survey tell us? Until we come to the understanding that living satisfied comes from our heart and the way we think; our mindset, we will always think that we need more things in our way of living to reach our goal in life. A very rich man once answered the question of how much it takes to be rich with “just a little more”. That is what most people think “just a little more.”

Benjamin Franklin said it his way, “To be content makes a poor man rich and discontent makes a rich man poor.” To really enjoy a life of fulfilment on a daily basis, we need to have our eyes on the right source.

To enjoy this kind of fulfilled life on a daily basis, it is important for us to look to the right source. People around us and even our best family and friends cannot give us what we truly crave. People will always disappoint us, because we humans are fickle. We should never seek approval of others, material possessions or status because they are not meant to be in our days to give us that kind of lasting satisfaction that we think we so desperately need.

Oh yes, there is that superficial sense of satisfaction that can come from all kinds of sources, but that is not the kind of satisfaction that you are looking for, because they are always unpredictable and short-lived.

To be “satisfied” can be defined as the sense of having enough or doing enough; to be content; or to experience fulfillment and gratification. The problem is though that the average person never thinks or feels like has really reached that point of having done enough. That is why we need to have a close look at our perspective in life and to get a grip on the source of real fulfillment and lasting satisfaction.

Can you imagine how fulfilled your life with Jesus can be? His love and joy and abundance are living on the inside of us. Jesus isn’t fickle or inconsistent; He is always the same. He is the only person that you really can depend on. When we put Him 1st place in our life and we center our lives in Him, we become happier and stronger and on top of that we become much healthier in all areas of our way of living.

We have a better outlook on our way of living and because we feel so much better and feel fulfilled, our relationships flourish. Everything gets better, because our focus is not on other people but on Jesus who always causes us to triumph in every situation.

That is the key, that for a lasting satisfied life of fulfillment we need to become deeply connected with an intimate relationship with God. The person who created us to love us no matter what; the person that has experienced that is truly satisfied in the Lord because he understands that God is the only reliable source in his way of living. The only source that of true fulfillment, abundant provision, and lasting security.

This is how The Apostle said it:way of living

    …For I have learned to be satisfied with what I have. I know what it is to be in need and what it is to have more than enough. I have learned this secret, so that anywhere, at any time, I am content, whether I am full or hungry, whether I have too much or too little. I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me. Phil. 4:11-13

Paul tells us that we need to learn to be satisfied and that it is an attitude that we need to practice. You know, look at the children; they are never content on their own. They always want something new. Marketers know this for a fact; they place the goodies for the children on a lower eye level just for them. We as mommies have to tell them that they cannot get everything they want, right? Children aren’t satisfied with what they have; they want what they don’t have.

Sadly enough many people are still the same when they grow up. Teenagers almost always give in on peer pressure; they want to have the latest thing in the store because “everyone has it.” Far too often, that same childish behaviour carries on into marriages. Some people will always live with that constant feeling of dissatisfaction because of the things they don’t have.

There are far too many people who want to “keep up with the Joneses” and want to have the latest fashion and the latest gadgets or the newest car even. This dissatisfaction robs people’s joy and clouds their lives with discontentment.

Paul talks about attitude of contentment in First Timothy 6:6 (AMP):

“[And it is, indeed, a source of immense profit, for] godliness accompanied with contentment (that contentment which is a sense of inward sufficiency) is great and abundant gain.” Paul describes contentment as a sense of inward sufficiency. It is to be our source of immense profit.

Read again what Paul says in Philippians 4:11: “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” This same idea is also found in Hebrews 13:5: “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”

A satisfied life comes forth when we live from the inside out; when we can see it on the inside it will automatically show up on the outside.

When we center ourselves in Him, we discover the depth of Jesus’ love for us, and this brings the fulfillment we long for. It is from this point that we discover the power and security of living a contented way of living. As you become clearer about how you want your life to look like and about who you are in Christ, you will watch it come to pass in your own life and that is the true satisfied life.

The moment we are content and at peace with God, we can be at peace with ourselves. His peace brings confidence, no matter who we’re with or how intimidating someone may seem.

Question: What are the things in your life that keep you back from living your life with contentment and satisfaction? Please share with us and the other readers.

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