We are all in need of great friends, isn’t it? We have friends that we have polite chats with, and then there are our best friends. They’re the people who root for you, no matter what. You tell them your deepest, darkest secrets, and instead of heading for the door, they stick around and your bond with them grows stronger.
My friend and my daughter has a blog about friendship and I asked her to be our guest today with one of her posts. I truly hope you enjoy it as much as I did; you can go over to her blog and let her know @ Frienship Spice; don’t forget to let us know here on the Choice Driven Life as well, ok?
Characteristics of Friendship –
What It Takes to Be a True Friend
by Josephine Hermans
EVERYBODY wants a true friend. Friendship makes the world go ’round. If it weren’t for friends we’d all be a bunch of lonely people living for ouselves, no one to give to, no one to look out for, no one to share memories with, not even anyone to talk to. Friendship gives us purpose. If it wasn’t for people around us, we would be living out of ourself and living for ourself, how boring is that. So here are a few characteristics that make up a true friendship. A friendship you need to invest in, and which you can expect to receive from.
A friendship is a two-way street. The responsibility of a true friendship cannot lie heavier on one side than the other. You cannot keep receiving without giving. You cannot keep giving without receiving. We are not tallying up brownie points here, but there does need to be give-and-take mentality. If there is no balance, the friendship won’t last long. Meet in the middle. Don’t expect your friend to always call you, to always come to your knick of the woods, to hang out at your house. Initially at the start of a friendship you may see yourself or someone else investing more into the friendship, but eventually it will need to balance out. There needs to be a balance so that each person feels free to share, enjoy, and be themselves as they both have the same amount of “stock” in the relationship. If there is no balance, you or the other may find yourself holding back, holding grudges, or even having bitterness.
Loyalty provides and instills trust in a relationship. Once loyalty has been proven, trust is given to the other person. Once you have sacrificed something in order to stay loyal to the friendship, a deeper connection is released. A connection of trust in which both persons are able to lay down barriers or walls and feel free to be themselves or show secrets, because a more safe environment is created. Also, an appreciation for the sacrifice and in turn the friendship is established which creates a stronger bond.
Honesty is needed for several reasons. First of all, you cannot build anything on lies, especially not a true friendship or any sort of relationship. Honesty about who you are, where you come from, what you believe, what you stand for are all important aspects that give a true picture of who you are to your friend. Honesty is also needed in times when “tough love” is needed. As a true friend, you are in a position to help steer the direction of your friends’ life, and being honest about certain decisions your friend is making can help save them a bad investment, a bad relationship, a bad career choice or even saving them from embarrassment! The opinions of true friends are taken in deep regard, so be honest about your opinions instead of necessarily telling your friend what you think they want to hear.
* Common interests.
I have seen pairs of friends who don’t look like they “should” be best friends, but in reality, they have common interests and common grounds for why they like to spend time with each other. You can have friends that have different political beliefs, religious beliefs, different interests, but a true friend has a common ground that you respect and therefore you want to give this person a higher position of influence in your life. You believe in what they believe. They are at a place you want to be in life. They have values you appreciate and want to have in your own life. Common interests can also be certain hobbies you have, like volunteering, sports, music, travelling, or whatever. If one of you wants to spend most of their time cooking at home and adventuring in the kitchen, and the other much prefers to go out and be around people, it can become a point of tension which will create a limit on the friendship. Therefore, common interests and activities are needed.
True friendship isn’t established overnight. Time is needed to get to know each other, create memories, and share life experiences which all draw friends closer to each other and create a closer bond. Both people involved need to want to invest time to see each other, do activities together, drinking coffee, talking, travelling, shopping, getting to know their family etc. to get to understand your friend. The time you spend together and get to know each other, the more you appreciate their opinions and the more you become a “go-to” friend for doing fun things, or calling up when honest advice is needed.
SoooO,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Many People Will Walk
,,,(,,,,),,,,,Oooo,,,,,In & Out Of Your Life,
,,,,,,(,,,,,,,(,,,,),,,,, But Only Real True? Friends,
,,,,,_),,,,,,,),,/,,,,,, Will Leave Footprints In Your Heart
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(_/,,,,,,,, & Memories That You Will Hold Locked Inside Forever
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