Choose To Manage Your Relationships Well
by Olga Hermans
Relationships can be very difficult to manage because there is only one aspect that is capable of being varied or changed all the time and that is the other person. We don’t know how to manage difficult people and especially when those people are family. Because we don’t know what the other person is going to do, we may be going along doing the best we know how and all of a sudden find ourselves in the middle of a relationship crisis. Our darkest hours can come because of the troubled times we have with people.
Any kind of relationship can bring pain. Strife with a mother or father, a brother or sister, a husband or wife, a son or a daughter, a relative, a friend, pastor, boss, neighbor, boyfriend, girlfriend or co-worker can cause us to experience a knot in our stomach, a lump in our throat and a loss of sleep.
That is because whether we want to acknowledge it or not, relationships are very important to each of us. We can’t live without them. Nor were we ever intended to. God never planned for us to live entirely separate from other people. Much of what God wants to work in us will come about as we grow in our relationships with the people God wants in our lives.
Every relationship requires a sacrifice. Every sacrifice has a reward. If we knew the rewards, we wouldn’t hesitate to make the sacrifices. Part of the sacrifice we must play in a relationship is laying down our pride and our needs. We need to be loved, cared for, valued and respected, but we never get those needs met when we demand them. We get them when we give them up. Humbling ourselves and putting the other person’s needs before our own can resurrect a relationship that has suffered deadly wounds.
Staying on the right path in any relationship means getting rid of excess personal baggage. Unforgiveness and jealousy are examples of such baggage. These negative attitudes will drive a wedge into any relationship. And they are always evident to other people, even if they don’t recognize exactly what it is they are observing.
The dark moments of relationships can be kept to a minimum if we humble ourselves before God and ask Him to walk us step-by-step through every layer of unforgiveness and jealousy. It’s a sacrifice that always brings a great reward.
The best way to protect all of your relationships and how to help your relationship is to make sure your primary relationship is with the Lord. Then commit each of your relationships to God and ask Him to be Lord over all of them. Cover them in prayer and seek God’s hand of reconciliation where that is needed.
Even though we can do a great deal to offer our love to a person and how to forgive someone, but only God can soften their hearts enough for them to receive it. Ask Him to do that too.
In ironing out the wrinkles in relationships, I find it’s best to remember two things: release people and cling to God. Gaining that perspective can help you rise above the failings of flesh and elevate you to the realm of the miraculous. The stronger your relationships is with the Lord, the better your other relationships will be.
The dark moments of any relationship can strengthen your walk with the Lord as you draw closer to Him. So make Him the focus of your attention and trust Him to shine a special light at the crossroads of where your path intersects with the path of another person.