Is there something like the 10 commandments for parents? YES! And if you apply them to your life, that means if they are obeyed, they will improve your relationship with your children.
We can improve our relationship with our children by blessing them and by setting standards, rules and values for them. When was the last time you took a little child in your arms and blessed them just as Jesus took them in His arms and blessed them?
1. You gotta start with yourself
As a parent, you need to be an example to your children; they need something they want to follow. If you make rules and regulations that you don’t follow yourself, you are a bad example to them. Be a good example for them and they will follow you.
2.Your relationship with your children should be more important than the rules.
Jesus said He didn’t come to do away with the law, but He came to fulfill the law (Matt.5:17), so don’t do away with the boundaries, rules and regulations, because they’re necessary. But your priority should be to love your children all the way and build a relationship with them.
3. Teach your children to live by faith.
Impart faith into them. Deut 6:5-9 talks about how we should talk about the Word with our children in everything that we do; when we sit down, when we go for a walk and as we do things and go around the house and do the normal everyday things. They get so used to hearing the Word for every situation that they don’t know any better than knowing that the Word has a solution to everything and that is how it should be.
4. You need to learn to listen to them.
Most parents have to learn this, because the conversation is on a totally different level, but it is one of those necessary things if you want to build a relationship with your children. James 1:19 says … let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. It takes effort to listen to children and teenagers, to get down on their level, to be able to relate to them and really listen to what is really going on in their life.
5. Spend time with you children, they love you for it!
It is not lost time when we spend time with our children, although it can feel that way at times. When you spend time wuth your children, you are investing time and it is quality time. I remember those times when our children were toddlers and that I thought it was not that important. I always thought there were so many other important things to do; I am glad that I came to the realization that playing with them on their level was as important as having a good conversation with a friend.
Sometimes parents think they’re spending time with the children when they go home and turn on the TV. That’s not quality time. Quality time is when you pay individual attention to your children, sharing with them and listening to them.
If you will build a relationship with them when they are small, when they get older, they’ll want to have time with you; you can become best friends if you really want to work on it.
How do we save people from getting on drugs and alcohol? If the deepest need of their life is met, especially when they are small, they won’t have these needs. They won’t be vulnerable to those things. When basic needs are not met, people search in every avenue they can.
In a study that took place on the West Coast with prostitutes, it was discovered that over 95% of them came from families where there was no positive father image. What were they seeking in prostitution? A craving for what they never received at home.
Where there has been a void, there’s a greater tendency to become involved in homosexuality. For the greatest percentage of the young boys involved in homosexuality, either there was an absentee father or a father who lacked spiritual fortitude.
The sins of the fathers, the Bible says, will be visited to the third and fourth generation. When there is a breakdown in the family, it doesn’t just affect the fathers. It can affect four generations of families. Are you beginning to see the importance of letting the Lord build our marriages and homes?
6. You have to acknowledge your faults as parents.
James 5:16 says; “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed…” Be quick to humble yourself and ask forgiveness of your children when you’ve made a mistake. It will get easier after your first time. This has not always been easy for me, because I was afraid that my children would reject me, but the opposite is true.
7. Keep a sense of humor at all times.
A good laugh will set you free from pent-up emotions. Our kids are grown up now, but there are moments that we realize we need to relax and have a good laugh, because laughter is like medicine.
8. Treat your children equally.
Children are all different, and as parents, we should never compare them. Your children should never feel that one of them is better than the other. You should let them know that there are different rules for different ages, but they should sense that you love them and respect them the same.
9. You need to discipline your children.
My husband and I were never really good at this one, but it is necessary. It is very important that after you discipline your children, you love on them. We all have heard about “Super Nanny” and “the time out treatment“. Well, it works!
10. Know when it is time to let them go.
Sometimes parents tend to overprotect their children. Sometimes parents feel like they’ve got to be at every place their children are, which is a spirit of fear. There is a point where you have to let go and trust God, believing that the training you have instilled in them will preserve them and keep them.
It is very important that you pray and intercede for your children. I know of many examples where parents have either seen in the spirit or were quickened by the Spirit to pray for their children. Because of prayer the enemy was stopped from destroying or coming against their lives.
We are living in dangerous and uncertain times and it is easy to find ourselves feeling afraid. There is nothing the enemy enjoys more than seeing us in fear. But we do not need to be afraid. God knows what lies ahead in these last days, and He has everything we need to see us through to victory over the enemy.
We are at war with the enemy like never before. Just because we are Christians doesn’t mean that God’s protection is automatic. Like all the other promises of God, we must exercise our faith in order to walk in the fullness of those promises. Now is the time to stand firm on God’s Word and start protecting your family today!
What do you do when you purposefully want to spend time with your family?
Post/Tweet this: As parents we need to bless our children just as Jesus took them up in His arms and blessed them #TheDailyChoice
You can subscribe to The Daily Choice which brings an encouraging message 5 days a week to your inbox.