5 Tips for You to Rule over Bitterness


5 Tips for You to Walk Away from Bitterness


It is amazing to me the stories I have heard lately of so many people that are going through situations that are just really heartbreaking to me. Of course we need time to get our life together after a situation that shakes us at the core of our being. But then again, we also need to know that we cannot get bitter; we need to get up and get moving forward again.

I know people who get bitter and become so buried in their grief that they never get beyond the experience. They hold on to it for years. Some turn their backs on God, the church and the people who love them because they are angry and bitter or afraid to love again. I know the time when both of my parents died within two years in my late teen years; I was in shock and I almost thought I wasn’t able to make it.

But then the moment came that I knew I had to take control of my emotions to prevent them from ruining my life. Many times, if we’re not careful we can prevent a breakthrough from occurring by having the wrong attitude. Granted, it’s hard and the situation may be unimaginable that you’re facing. We are emotional beings and it is very difficult for us to press though those emotions.

When things don’t go as planned and people hurt or disappoint us, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is the time we must dig into the Word and stay close to God. Hanging around positive people and listening to positive music and messages can be of great help regardless of what is going on in our lives. Keeping a positive outlook and not get bitter, but get better should be a way of life.

Here are 5 tips to help you avoid or overcome bitterness:

1. Replace your complaining friends with positive ones

Look at your circle of friends. Who’s there? If you have friend who is always talking bad about their husband or telling you what you should do, it’s time to make a change. If you’re hearing things like, “I’m sick of my husband/parents. He’s/they are no good” Or if you have dreams that you want to accomplish and the friends around you say, “Give it up. You’re too old for that now. You should have done that, years ago.” Time to move on, they should support your dreams.

2. Replace fault-finding and complaining with thankfulness

Be thankful to God. I’m not suggesting that you thank Him for a bad situation or difficult experience, but thank Him in the midst of it. God is your heavenly Father. There is no one like Him. He will work things out for you if you live a life of faith and trust Him.

The fact that God is in your life means that you have far more working for you than against you. Thank Him daily and expect good things to happen. Your breakthrough is right around the corner. The Bible says we should do all things without complaining so that we will be blameless Phil.2:14-15

3. Don’t feed off negative sources

We must learn to make a choice to fix our minds on good things. Surround yourself with people who are good for you and have your best interest at heart. If you have been bombarded with negative messages, make the change.

4. Commit to developing your spiritual walk

Attend church regularly. God wants us to surround ourselves with people who have similar thoughts and values to our own. He also encourages us to assemble with Christians regularly so that we may uplift each other. Prayer and meditating on the Word is also important. Get in a quiet place daily and talk to God. Listen as He speaks to your heart throughout the day.

5. Watch what you say

Words have power. So choose them carefully. If you want positive results, you’ve got to have positive communication. If you want negative results, complain and continue to talk about the things you don’t want in your life. Either way it’s a choice. I encourage you to choose that which is positive.

Avoid quarreling, fighting, and gossiping. This type of communication produces strife and hinders every blessing. Instead say good things. Learn to agree or to agree to disagree and don’t take part in negative talk about anyone. Choose the high road. You’ll be glad you did.

Staying positive in a negative world is not easy, but it can be done. In fact, it must be done if we want our faith to continually increase. To live a positive life, we must intentionally focus our attention on good things.

What makes it difficult for you to focus on the positive rather than on the negative? What are some specific things about God on which you choose to focus your attention?


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React or Respond Do You Know the Difference?

React or Respond
Do You Know the Difference?

by Olga Hermans

Sometimes the biggest challenge in dealing with our problems is understanding what to do and how we should respond. To find the answers, we must seek God and His perspective on our situation. It is not the time to run away from God because we fear that He will be disappointed in us.

He understands that we will make mistakes along the way, and He promises never to condemn or turn His back on us. He is always there; ready to guide us to the next step in our lives.

When circumstances in our lives cause us discouragement or worry, we have to make a choice. Either we’re going to let it get the best of us by giving all our attention to it for the next days, months, or years, or we’re going to respond rather than choose to react.

Take the Back Seat

When we choose to respond, we give the steering wheel to God and take the back seat. I say the back seat because too often we take the passenger seat and are tempted to co-pilot. God doesn’t need our help to navigate through the storm; He is more than able to handle it. Remember, God already knows the end from the beginning.

Once we give God the wheel, we have to trust Him. For example, let’s say you were planning a road trip that you have never taken before. Your brother, on the other hand, is very familiar with the drive because he has traveled it many times.

In a case like this, it would be in your interest to let him navigate the trip. Through his experiences, he has learned all the detours to take to avoid traffic and construction and is, therefore, the best person for the job.

But if you sit in the passenger’s seat with an open map to co-pilot and begin questioning his judgment and telling him what the map says he should do, you’re going to frustrate him. Eventually he will stop the car and let you drive.

Then you’ll be in the same position you were in at the beginning – navigating the trip alone and needlessly exhausted by the experience. Had you allowed your brother to drive, and rested in his ability to do so, you would have arrived at your destination sooner, feeling refreshed and energized.

How Do We Treat God?

This is a good example of how we treat God sometimes. We ask Him to get involved in our situations, then, we begin telling Him what we want Him to do and how we want Him to do it. In our minds, we know just how the problem should be resolved.

When God’s plan appears to be different from our own we are tempted to take over the wheel. As a result, we become frustrated and disappointed with the outcome. Sometimes, without even realizing we have taken the wheel again, we blame God for the things that could have been avoided, had we given Him complete control.

To respond appropriately to the troubles in our life, our first decision should be to give all our cares to Him and leave them there! You see, responding and reacting are two different things. When things happen to us, it is natural to react.

What Happens When Our Emotions Get Involved?

When we react, our emotions get involved like crying, getting angry or taking revenge. It is okay to cry or to get angry, but then release it. Don’t seek revenge. Take control of the situation. God has given you the authority to speak life into your circumstances by responding with the faith you possess as an overcomer.

Even though He has given us emotions, it is not His will that they control our lives. When we stay in reaction mode, it leads to trouble. That’s when bitterness, envy, depression, and self pity set in. It is virtually impossible to have a positive attitude when these feelings overtake us.

Don’t let emotions fester for long periods of time. Let them go, and release your faith and start saying things like, “I know I’m coming out of this situation. This is a test that I am well able to pass. No matter what it looks like or how I feel, I trust God. He will never leave me or forsake me!” Before you know it, your situation will start to turn around.

God Desires To Guide Us

The second response is to allow God to guide us through difficult times. Being in constant prayer about the situation and reading the Word will give us the peace and direction we so desperately need. They help us to remain positive when everything inside of us wants to focus on the negative.

You will be surprised by how your perspective about the situation can change when you get God involved. There is no point in overreacting, questioning God, or feeling sorry for yourself. Reacting is never the best solution.

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