5 Tips for You to Rule over Bitterness


5 Tips for You to Walk Away from Bitterness


It is amazing to me the stories I have heard lately of so many people that are going through situations that are just really heartbreaking to me. Of course we need time to get our life together after a situation that shakes us at the core of our being. But then again, we also need to know that we cannot get bitter; we need to get up and get moving forward again.

I know people who get bitter and become so buried in their grief that they never get beyond the experience. They hold on to it for years. Some turn their backs on God, the church and the people who love them because they are angry and bitter or afraid to love again. I know the time when both of my parents died within two years in my late teen years; I was in shock and I almost thought I wasn’t able to make it.

But then the moment came that I knew I had to take control of my emotions to prevent them from ruining my life. Many times, if we’re not careful we can prevent a breakthrough from occurring by having the wrong attitude. Granted, it’s hard and the situation may be unimaginable that you’re facing. We are emotional beings and it is very difficult for us to press though those emotions.

When things don’t go as planned and people hurt or disappoint us, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is the time we must dig into the Word and stay close to God. Hanging around positive people and listening to positive music and messages can be of great help regardless of what is going on in our lives. Keeping a positive outlook and not get bitter, but get better should be a way of life.

Here are 5 tips to help you avoid or overcome bitterness:

1. Replace your complaining friends with positive ones

Look at your circle of friends. Who’s there? If you have friend who is always talking bad about their husband or telling you what you should do, it’s time to make a change. If you’re hearing things like, “I’m sick of my husband/parents. He’s/they are no good” Or if you have dreams that you want to accomplish and the friends around you say, “Give it up. You’re too old for that now. You should have done that, years ago.” Time to move on, they should support your dreams.

2. Replace fault-finding and complaining with thankfulness

Be thankful to God. I’m not suggesting that you thank Him for a bad situation or difficult experience, but thank Him in the midst of it. God is your heavenly Father. There is no one like Him. He will work things out for you if you live a life of faith and trust Him.

The fact that God is in your life means that you have far more working for you than against you. Thank Him daily and expect good things to happen. Your breakthrough is right around the corner. The Bible says we should do all things without complaining so that we will be blameless Phil.2:14-15

3. Don’t feed off negative sources

We must learn to make a choice to fix our minds on good things. Surround yourself with people who are good for you and have your best interest at heart. If you have been bombarded with negative messages, make the change.

4. Commit to developing your spiritual walk

Attend church regularly. God wants us to surround ourselves with people who have similar thoughts and values to our own. He also encourages us to assemble with Christians regularly so that we may uplift each other. Prayer and meditating on the Word is also important. Get in a quiet place daily and talk to God. Listen as He speaks to your heart throughout the day.

5. Watch what you say

Words have power. So choose them carefully. If you want positive results, you’ve got to have positive communication. If you want negative results, complain and continue to talk about the things you don’t want in your life. Either way it’s a choice. I encourage you to choose that which is positive.

Avoid quarreling, fighting, and gossiping. This type of communication produces strife and hinders every blessing. Instead say good things. Learn to agree or to agree to disagree and don’t take part in negative talk about anyone. Choose the high road. You’ll be glad you did.

Staying positive in a negative world is not easy, but it can be done. In fact, it must be done if we want our faith to continually increase. To live a positive life, we must intentionally focus our attention on good things.

What makes it difficult for you to focus on the positive rather than on the negative? What are some specific things about God on which you choose to focus your attention?


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  1. All your 5 tips are so powerful Olga! I really like the last one about the power of words.And I totally agree that being free from bitterness involves making a choice.
    Carolyn Hughes recently posted..The Gift of True Love.My Profile

  2. Hi Olga…

    Many Christians have been through severe trials in the past few years, so your post is “spot on”. I’ve also noticed that some of us tend to take on a false identity that includes our pain and grief. Sometimes it’s called a victim mentality, which is really dangerous because it attracts more abusive circumstances.

    I believe it’s God’s grace and unconditional love that release us from our pain and help us move forward. We can do our part by controlling our thoughts, which as you illustrate, can be negatively impacted by negative people.

    The only point of the five above that I have trouble with, is “attending church” because many victims are further abused by church leaders that don’t understand the dynamics of abusive relationships and how to help victims become free.

    Christian leaders, often unknowingly, further entrench the victim in pain. Sometimes churches can be dangerous places for the most severely abused people. They need “special” attention by trained people.

    What we set our minds on gives energy and power to that thing/person/event. I love what you say about words being powerful, for they come from our hearts. Like a tiny rudder on a ship, they determine the course we take. I’m glad you always bring us back to the basics of life… those are the very important things that will help us to stay the biblical course!

  3. I have found it is really hard to let bitterness go if you arent in the Word of God & with the Body of Christ to help you. Of course, it is saying YES to & Embracing the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit that does the work, Praise the Lord!
    I have been actively replacing the negative/bitter thoughts with positive life giving thoughts, & it is really powerful! & our words are very powerful…are they LIFE GIVING or divisive?
    When we GIVE life through our words, our thoughts, & RECEIVE Life from God, we can GIVE life to others! 🙂 THAT’S POWER!!!
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  4. Olga…great post. This was me for so many years, angry and bitter, and I took God’s Word to renew melt my heart and renew my mind. I thank God for His healing power through His word that changed me from bitter to better! thanks again.

  5. 5 important keys to healthy living Olga. I especially like #5 about ‘positive communication’. Words do have power. James 3:7-8 said “all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue.” We have got choices with our words.

  6. Oh man, this is such good stuff Olga! The older I get the more important it is for me that I avoid negativity, grudges, bitterness and anything else that doesn’t involve or promote happiness and peace. These tips will be added to my arsenal of tools I use to do just that.
    Ron recently posted..3 powerful steps to an anointed music ministryMy Profile

  7. It always boils down to making a choice. We have a choice whether to be bitter or not. And, in the end, if we choose bitterness, we are only hurting ourselves. One way I stay positive is not only being aware of my positive words but I write them down. Every night and every morning. I project into my future all good, positive people and experiences. Do I have difficulties thrown at me? Of course. But I do myself a disservice if I spend my time dwelling on that. The best advice here is get away from the Negative Nellies! Even online, if someone is constantly a thorn, block or delete them. Just walk away . . .
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  8. I think replacing the complain friends is an excellent idea , Olga. Surround yourself with positive people make life a lot easier.
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  9. I am trying to make it my business to enjoy the positive and let the negative slide. It’s hard when there is a land slide of bad things but it’s then that I feel God holding my hand and walking me through.
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  10. Awesome 5 tips, awesome advice. The one that hit me the most is your words, which brings me to:
    Philippians 4:8-9 ”whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” Thanks Olga!
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  11. What a great web page and post! I like all 5 pointers but especially #1,2, and 3. Sometimes I feel guilty when I walk away from a friend (?) that has become overwhelmingly negative without apparent reason. If they cannot respond to positive encouragement, then I am not the person to interact with. I feel that everyone must find or make their own happiness. Some people are looking to others to make them happy.

  12. Words really do have power…love this post, Olga! Walking away from bitterness is really important in order to have a life of peace, love and harmony. Love the 5 tips…right on!
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  13. These are great tips, Olga, reminding us how to keep the focus on the positive.
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  14. thanks for the reminders Olga!! My favorites are focusing on gratitude and your spiritual life.

  15. The last one is the hardest for me. I pray for peace and my tongue to be tied all the time! 🙂 I ‘yell’ at the kids too much and do say things I regret. Saying sorry sometimes ins’t good enough. Staying positive is what I needed to hear. thank you!
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  16. Excellent post, Olga. This is really an important topic, and you handled it very well. Thanks!

  17. At some point along the way, you realize that you only have a certain number of days on this journey called life. You have a choice how you wish to spend those days. I find the choice really easy … and bitterness isn’t part of it.
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  18. Bitterness is such a killer of self. Thank for this great post, Olga!

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