5 Tips for You to Rule over Bitterness

 

5 Tips for You to Walk Away from Bitterness

 

It is amazing to me the stories I have heard lately of so many people that are going through situations that are just really heartbreaking to me. Of course we need time to get our life together after a situation that shakes us at the core of our being. But then again, we also need to know that we cannot get bitter; we need to get up and get moving forward again.

I know people who get bitter and become so buried in their grief that they never get beyond the experience. They hold on to it for years. Some turn their backs on God, the church and the people who love them because they are angry and bitter or afraid to love again. I know the time when both of my parents died within two years in my late teen years; I was in shock and I almost thought I wasn’t able to make it.

But then the moment came that I knew I had to take control of my emotions to prevent them from ruining my life. Many times, if we’re not careful we can prevent a breakthrough from occurring by having the wrong attitude. Granted, it’s hard and the situation may be unimaginable that you’re facing. We are emotional beings and it is very difficult for us to press though those emotions.

When things don’t go as planned and people hurt or disappoint us, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is the time we must dig into the Word and stay close to God. Hanging around positive people and listening to positive music and messages can be of great help regardless of what is going on in our lives. Keeping a positive outlook and not get bitter, but get better should be a way of life.

Here are 5 tips to help you avoid or overcome bitterness:

1. Replace your complaining friends with positive ones

Look at your circle of friends. Who’s there? If you have friend who is always talking bad about their husband or telling you what you should do, it’s time to make a change. If you’re hearing things like, “I’m sick of my husband/parents. He’s/they are no good” Or if you have dreams that you want to accomplish and the friends around you say, “Give it up. You’re too old for that now. You should have done that, years ago.” Time to move on, they should support your dreams.

2. Replace fault-finding and complaining with thankfulness

Be thankful to God. I’m not suggesting that you thank Him for a bad situation or difficult experience, but thank Him in the midst of it. God is your heavenly Father. There is no one like Him. He will work things out for you if you live a life of faith and trust Him.

The fact that God is in your life means that you have far more working for you than against you. Thank Him daily and expect good things to happen. Your breakthrough is right around the corner. The Bible says we should do all things without complaining so that we will be blameless Phil.2:14-15

3. Don’t feed off negative sources

We must learn to make a choice to fix our minds on good things. Surround yourself with people who are good for you and have your best interest at heart. If you have been bombarded with negative messages, make the change.

4. Commit to developing your spiritual walk

Attend church regularly. God wants us to surround ourselves with people who have similar thoughts and values to our own. He also encourages us to assemble with Christians regularly so that we may uplift each other. Prayer and meditating on the Word is also important. Get in a quiet place daily and talk to God. Listen as He speaks to your heart throughout the day.

5. Watch what you say

Words have power. So choose them carefully. If you want positive results, you’ve got to have positive communication. If you want negative results, complain and continue to talk about the things you don’t want in your life. Either way it’s a choice. I encourage you to choose that which is positive.

Avoid quarreling, fighting, and gossiping. This type of communication produces strife and hinders every blessing. Instead say good things. Learn to agree or to agree to disagree and don’t take part in negative talk about anyone. Choose the high road. You’ll be glad you did.

Staying positive in a negative world is not easy, but it can be done. In fact, it must be done if we want our faith to continually increase. To live a positive life, we must intentionally focus our attention on good things.

What makes it difficult for you to focus on the positive rather than on the negative? What are some specific things about God on which you choose to focus your attention?

 

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Your Words Will Direct Your Life

 

 

 

Your Words Will Direct Your Life

by Olga Hermans

 

Your words will either cause blessing or curses to come into your life. They will take you up or bring you down. You can change the atmosphere of your soul with pleasant words, such as: In my pathway is life and there is no death. (Prov. 12:28.) The joy of the Lord is my strength. (Neh. 8:10.) Because You are my Shepherd, I shall not want. (Ps. 23:1.) You will never leave me or forsake me. (Heb. 13:5.)

I would say that it is a good thing to think about the power of the words we use on a daily basis. We all like to live the best life possible, isn’t it? Well, then we also need to look at the way we choose our words.

Our words have the ability to improve our attitude, strengthen our mind, heal relationships, give wisdom in the midst of chaos, communicate ideas and speak peace into a situation.

There are so plenty possibilities for the words we use. Unfortunately, there are just as many negative possibilities. Words can create confusion, anger, hatred, and tear down in just a few moments what has taken years to build.
Although you may not notice that your words do anything negative in the world around you, I challenge you to consider ways that you can do more good in the world through the power of your words. Consider these questions as you seek to do just that:

1. Do I often find myself wishing I could take back something I’ve said or written?

The blessing and curse of words is the same: They cannot be easily undone. That’s why it is critical to choose your words carefully. Whether it is the words you use to communicate with your children or handle a conflict in your work environment, once you say something, it’s said, and once you fire off that mocking email, it’s a permanent record. You can do damage or good in a matter of seconds. Make sure your words do the latter.

2. When I hear gossip, do I give in to the urge to encourage more conversation or do I change the flow of the conversation to something more positive?

I know, I know. Some gossip is awfully tempting, but make a choice to steer clear of all of it. When you embrace all that is possible for your life, you become much less concerned with negative conversation. What does it mean to gossip? Is gossip when you tell something good about what someone else does? Of course not. It is when someone tells things about another by revealing a confidence, or with the intent to “sow discord.” Proverbs 11:13 says, “A talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.”Be on your guard about any negative words you allow into your environment – whether through people or media.

3. Do I wait until I am angry or frustrated to give people my opinion about their behavior, or do I take time to calm down before speaking about an emotionally-charged topic?

Nine times out of ten, waiting to respond to a situation that has you emotionally charged will result in a much calmer and wiser response. Wait a set period of time (it could be ten minutes, 24 hours or more) before addressing someone about an issue if you think you may say something too harshly or that you may later regret. Your communication will be clearer and more effective when you have time to take the emotion out of your response and think about the words you want to use.

4. When I am feeling down about my circumstances, do I speak negatively about myself?

The power of your words not only affects others, but perhaps most significantly, they affect you. Become aware of what you say about yourself – whether speaking to yourself or others. Do you beat yourself up for making a mistake? Do you tell yourself or others that you aren’t smart enough, experienced enough, talented enough, attractive enough or good enough to succeed in your endeavors? Even if your self-esteem leads you to believe these things are true, tell yourself the opposite. “I have everything I need to accomplish my dream. I am a good person. I am getting better day by day. My circumstances, whether positive or negative, do not define who I am.” Use your words to enhance, enrich and empower your life rather than allowing them to tear you down.

5. Do I feel the need to always voice my opinion?

Some of the wisest people in the world speak the least. They are secure enough in who they are that they don’t feel the need to prove their worthiness by expressing their opinion and knowledge at every given opportunity. Instead, they listen without judgment. Through their listening, they learn and gain wisdom. Practice being quiet, even when you feel the urge to let everyone hear your opinion. Of course, there are times when expressing your opinion is critical. Learn to discern the difference between speaking out of insecurity or a need for attention, and speaking out of authenticity and mutual benefit.

If you get control of your tongue, you can direct your entire life the way it is supposed to go. Begin speaking the truth of God’s Word, and you will see your life driven by the Word of God instead of the storms of life.

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