How to Be Emotionally Strong – Gaining Control Over Your Emotions

Most People Approach Life Like A Roller-Coaster Ride At An Amusement Park

How to Be Emotionally Strong –
Gaining Control Over Your Emotions

By Olga Hermans


The other day I was at a party and we were all chatting along and all of a sudden the question came up: “isn’t anyone happy anymore?” Actually there was a male in our group and started sharing with us that he dates women frequently, but the relationships always seem to end the same way. He said, “All the women I meet don’t just have so much emotional baggage, they have cargo!”

Do you have friends who have these emotions like: resentment and bitterness, depression, grief, gloom and despair? We all have emotions, but I believe one of the main goals of every person should be emotional stability. We should seek God to learn how to manage our emotions and not allow them to manage us.

God wants you to use wisdom. Before you do something, wisdom says wait a little while until the emotions settle down, then check to see if you really believe it’s the right thing to do. The Bible says in Colossians 3:15 to be led by peace in making decisions. Don’t let your emotions make your decisions. A good statement to remember is this: “Wisdom says wait; emotions say hurry.

Most people (I am not talking about you and I) approach life like a roller-coaster ride at an amusement park. They allow their lives to happen to them. They strap themselves in and with grim determination; they hang on during the ups, downs, excitement and fear. They don’t have a clue how much stress they have on the inside of them.

The longer the ride lasts, the more accustomed they become to the knots in their stomachs and the tension in their neck. We seem to have forgotten that there might be a different way to live. I don’t know about you, but when I get off a roller-coaster ride, I feel very wobbly in the knees. An emotional roller coaster can also cause a person to be a little wobbly – unsure, unstable, stressed-out, weak and incapable of functioning to the fullest.

Emotional roller coasters sap people of physical and psychological health, often leaving the mind and the body almost without energy and strength.

I have said this before that I had a sister who died due to anorexia. I remember the time that she started this deadly behaviour. I was only 14 and she was 17/18; she was not happy for who knows what the reason was. She started to have these emotional outbursts of anger and bitterness. There was a time that it looked like the emotions started to settle down, but the fact was that she started to cope with it by starving herself and not giving herself room to be who she really was. It had an effect on our whole family.

My other sister got married, seemed to be very happy on the outside. After my parents had died she became depressed and suicidal; very angry and bitter at everybody around her. Her emotions became too much for her, because she didn’t learn how to manage her emotions but allowed them to manage her. At this moment she and one of her daughters are in a mental hospital.

Do you want to know what happened to me? During a time of deep distress in my life God came and visited me in my own home, He picked me up and delivered me out of darkness into His marvellous light. He changed me on the inside, delivered me completely from smoking 2 packages of cigarettes a day and from nail biting instantly, He also completely healed my marriage. Of course there were and are some areas that I have to work through. He never told us that life would be easy, but if we do life together with Him, life is so much easier.

I am telling you all this because I know that emotions can be very deadly and very toxic. Many people suffer depression, fear, worry, stress and try to cope with it. Mother Teresa said that the greatest disease of mankind is the absence of love. I couldn’t agree more. Your answer to you feeling like this is that you start to realize that you are valuable and priceless.

The Bible encourages us strongly that we are to love others as we love ourselves. Matth.22:39 and Lev. 19:18. You know, to be able to love begins in receiving God’s love and then learning to love ourselves. How are you able to love yourself? By having feelings of worthiness, value and purpose in life.

“You are beautiful!” Is this a compliment to you? Well, it was meant to be, because YOU ARE beautiful. God says that about you! You are valuable to Him; He loves you as nobody else can love you.Whoever you are and wherever you are, you are precious, priceless and extremely important to an amazing God in heaven. He knows your name. He sees your life and he cares about the inner desires of your heart.

Walking in love is a choice and acting on that choice takes effort. Love means that you turn yourself inside out for others, to turn your thinking upside down from the way the vast majority of people in the world think. A person who makes a commitment to walk in love is a person who nearly always discovers he has made a very extreme decision. Walking in love requires not only an intentional, initial choice, but an ongoing intentional choice.

Loving as God loves requires practice, practice, practice. Practice and not being jealous, proud, rude, or selfish and you are on your way to attain happiness and live the life you desire.

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  1. Olga, this is one of your best articles, yet…. your message resonates loud and clear in me! Love your quote: “Mother Teresa said that the greatest disease of mankind is the absence of love.” You are right on, my sister, and thanks for sharing your own personal family story!

  2. Olga, I knew from the very start that you were a very special person, and now I know why. You have gone through such extremely challenging times that would have brought many to their knees, never to rise again. But you did, through your open heart allowing the Lord to hold you tight! Much love to you Olga, this article will help so many. We do not walk alone!

  3. Very well said Olga! You know. I had a neighbor who, after a traumatic brain injury, recovered about 75 % but then became so depressed, we spent lots of time sitting on the tailgate talking, him out of his house, away from wife and kids to keep safe distance, he after about six months couldn’t take it anymore, and took his life. I appreciate what you have been thru, I can’t really imagine losing my sister, but I just appreciated this it lifted me up actually…thank you!

    • Thank you so much Paul, we just never know what people go though. Some people carry deep secrets with them all their life.

  4. Thanks! Great article!!

  5. Olga, I have a similar family story. Thanks for sharing and for the encouragement!

  6. Great Post Olga. You are such an encouragement as an example that we do not have to stay ‘stuck’ whereever we are, but can CHOOSE to move forward with God’s help.

  7. Olga, great article. Thank you so much for sharing this with us and thank you for the encouragement! In life it is very important to be able to control our emotions but sometimes it’s not easy. Great article!

  8. Carol Giambri says:

    Beautiful post Olga. God is the one who is LOVE. I wish I knew of HIS love growing up but now I do. Thanks for the great encouragement and the amazing powers of HIS healing you from smoke and nail biting. What a testimony. Thanks for sharing your examples to bring it all closer to home.

  9. A really touching post Olga. Thanks for sharing!

  10. Bernadette says:

    We all go through situations and it so comforting to read what others have done in certain situations, I beleive there is always hope for us to go to the other side. Emotions can be very strong at times; somebody said once that emotions can move you away from the core of your being. I guess that is true. I have a different perspective on my emotions after reading this article and want to thank you for it.

  11. Excellent post. I would add the importance of preparing for war in times of peace. I know how often I would make the assumption in my life of thinking I had things under control because “I knew it” yet I’d made no preparations of how I’d respond when the challenge reared it’s ugly head beyond one action.

    That what the armor of God does. It prepares us for battle on multiple levels. Every portion of our body, mind and emotions are protected as long as we face the battle head on and refuse to turn our backs on the solution… Eph 2:10 promised us that if we take HIS path we will live a good life; a life preordained for us to walk in.

    When we see each challenges as unique opportunities to grow ourselves and the other party involved, we both win. No longer are we adversaries; we are comrades in the trenches!
    We are so much stronger than we know. We just have to will ourselves in alignment of the desired end result…Ps 20:4

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