Choose Influence Over Control

Everybody has Influence; Our Lives Have Influence


Choose Influence Over Control

by Olga Hermans


To be clear, influence is not control. Some people mistakenly believe they have the authority to use their influence in a negative way. They do not. Being self-centered does not influence people in a positive way. People do not want to be around someone who is always trying to manipulate or take advantage of them.

I know myself; I am more susceptible to those I can trust. If we are not walking in love with those around us, our influence will not bring about the positive results we should desire to have.

There is a big difference between having a positive influence on someone and having control over them. Nobody wants to be controlled. Control is deadly. It is a deadly enemy to relationships. A controlling spirit destroys careers and ultimately their lives if they are not careful.

I have mentioned in another post that my sister died from anorexia nervosa; she was so obsessed to have control over her body. She wanted to control everything and everybody around her; she just couldn’t let go. Her control became a deadly weapon against herself which took control over her life and when she wasn’t able to take control over her deadly weapon; it became her death. Very sad eh?

All my brothers and sisters tried to influnece her in the right direction, but her self destructive behavior had too much control over her. Anyway, let’s go on and have a look at the good that really have influence in our life.

1. Words impact our influence

One day, we will have to give account to God for every word we say. It is therefore wise that we choose them carefully. If we want to have a positive influence in people’s lives, we have to avoid opportunities to gossip, be critical, and complain. Just as a person can affect the atmosphere around them in a positive manner, they can also contribute to a negative atmosphere.

Our choice of words have a lot to do with the type of life we live. Words also affect our overall productivity. When we easily find fault in others and are critical of them, we reap results of our decisions. That’s why the children of Israel stayed in the wilderness for 40 years. They complained about everything! “Why did God bring us out here to die? What are we going to eat? We should have stayed in slavery.”

We must be accountable for the words we speak. Words define the essence of our being. Life and death are in the power of the words we speak. Life equals blessings and death equals curses. However, God is so gracious. He gives us the ability to choose. In His Word, He gives us a hint as to which we should choose. You guessed it, choose life!

2. The Blessing of Abraham has influence

Abraham’s faith made a tremendous impact in the lives of his family and even in our lives today. One of the reasons why God chose Abraham was because of the influential impact he could make in the lives of others. Gen.12:2.

When you have the blessing on your life, you have God’s ability working through you to get the job done. I heard a preacher say one time; He puts His super on your natural and together the supernatural is accomplished. God also promised to give Abraham great influence by making his name well-known and giving him abundance of resources to bless others. He wants to do the same in our lives.

The blessing causes prosperity: it causes the wealth to flow into our lives. It contains every anointing from God. So when we operate in the blessing, we are able to reach people and reconcile them to God through our influence. The blessing ultimately flows from generation to generation.

Parents have a significant amount of influence in the lives of their children. How they respond to the situations in their lives has a tremendous impact on a child. In many cases, it will determine how the child will also respond as he or she matures. Therefore it is important that we pass on a positive influence and make a positive impact in the lives of our children

3. Prosperity has Influence

Money and wealth have great influence. The biblical definition of wealth is “influence”. If you would do a word study on the word wealth, you will find that it is not just limited to money; it also means to be “resourceful.” It is having goods, services, and abilities. To be as influential as God would have us to be, we must be givers and not takers.

We are blessed to be a blessing to others. We don’t possess the things we have just for our own benefits. No, God want to use our resourcefulness to strengthen others.

Every believer has influence. Our lives have influence. We are the salt of the earth and the light of the world. Gal.6:10 encourages to do good to all people when we are given opportunity. Here are a few tools that you can use to become a greater influence in the lives of others.

a)   Be the manifested word

Let’s be a demonstration of the Word of God in action. Let’s be love in action. Let’s be compassion in action. We have to conceive God’s Word by planting it in our hearts, meditating on it and speaking it.

b)   Demonstrate love and compassion

We can’t be selfish and expect to make a positive influence in the lives of people. We have to be compassionate and show evidence of God’s love. It should be our goal to do whatever we can to be a blessing to others and to help them without reservation.

c)   Give

We must be willing to give freely. Not just our money, but our time, talents and abilities. To be truly influential as God would have us to be, we have to be givers, not takers.

d)   Be relevant to the world

We cannot be afraid to reach out to people. There are many ways to make an impact in the world through giving, volunteering and spending time with people

e)   Fulfill God’s purpose for your life

Make God’s will for your life a priority. Don’t postpone it or decide that you will do it after you’ve done all the things you want to do. Now is the time to set things right in your life.

f)    Be stable and consistent

We must display some form of stability and consistency in our lives to influence others in a positive way. Whatever you do, decide that you will do it for the long haul. Don’t be in today and out tomorrow. Be committed. That’s how you make an impact in the lives of people.

Thank you for visiting our blog; we try to choose topics that will inspire and encourage you. Let me know if there is a topic that you would like me to write about.

When you choose to be a blessing in the lives of others, what is your motivation? Please give your comment below or in our FB Group

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  1. Enjoyed reading your article Olga. I good reminder to watch our words and how we think we are using our influence. I am so with you on the fact that more people in the world need to be committed to what is important.

  2. Wow Olga, appreciate you and your article…and how you shared you sisters story as her life wasn’t in vain. This was inspiring to me to be more conscious of my words and my influence, not to be controlling…with my kids!
    Paul Crowson recently posted..Create Your Kid’s Digital Footprints – How To Keep Your Kids Identity Safe Online Forever!My Profile

  3. Robert Hendrixs says:

    Great Post Olga,

    We have to be careful not to use our influence as control.
    Influence is to be used to advance the people we influence so we all get better and get ahead.

    Once again great blog!


    • Thanks Robert, thanks for stopping in! We grew up with the idea that we had to lead people from the top, but times have changed. People want to know how much you care for them

  4. Good information Olga, thanks!

  5. Amazing insights Olga. The concept of influence vs control is one that is so critical for parents especially to understand while raising children. It can be the defining factor to raising a child with a healthy sense of self.
    denny hagel recently posted..School’s Out For the Summer!…NOW WHATMy Profile

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