Five Practical Strategies That Will Help You Be Yourself
Fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted.
Proverbs 29:25 (NASB)
I have had many conversations about being yourself and have written on this topic several times on The Choice Driven Life blog. I even wrote an eBook on the topic. We all seem to struggle with finding meaning in our lives and doing what we love. This requires getting over fear of man and being honest about who you are.
It is exhausting to be uneasy with yourself. You may not even be aware of the energy drain that comes from keeping up appearances, pleasing other people and trying to fit into situations that simply are not you.
The notion of “being yourself” is ambiguous. Here are five strategies that bring this vague topic into everyday practice:
1. Say what you need to say
Are you afraid to speak up? Are you constantly concerned about offending others or perhaps you fear the embarrassment of being honest about your thoughts and feelings. That is a red flag that you are not being authentic, honest – yourself.
Consider at least one situation in which you have not said what you need to say. Ask God where to start and to help you speak the truth in love. The next opportunity, find a moment to say what you need to say and just say it. Authenticity means being straightforward. Don’t waste your energy pretending all is well when it isn’t.
2. Wear what YOU like to wear and makes you feel YOU
The way we clothe ourselves is a way of telling others who we are. It is a communication of its own. What do your clothes say about you? Be creative and dress in a way that makes you feel good, even when your choices are restricted for whatever reason.
3. In every situation, do what you know is right
Everyone has values and is empowered by living them. Choose to line up your actions with your beliefs, so that you’re not wrestling with inner turmoil. There is nothing more authentic than living your values. It brings a sense of peace about your decisions and actions.
4. Allow yourself to be imperfect
When we are uncomfortable in our own skin, most of the time it is because we expect way too much of ourselves. We need to give ourselves permission to be human, or in other words, permission to be imperfect. Don’t hide your imperfections from others. Through our shared vulnerability we come to know ourselves even more fully. If you don’t like what you see, at least it is identified and that is the first step to changing it.
5. Take a deep breath
Anytime you feel yourself becoming anxious, feeling tempted to step away from just being you, take a deep breath. Breathe and allow yourself to be you. It’s such a simple concept – just like being yourself.
Will you choose to show others the true, authentic self that God created you to be? Now, that’s the choice-driven life!
Today’s Bible Reading:
Isa 45-48; 1 Cor 13
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I recently guest posted a blog for youth pastors about ‘What I would tell myself at age 25…
The number one thing was ‘Live the vision God has given YOU.’
The idea is similar. God made us, unique, and just the way He wanted. There is no use trying to squeeze into someone else’s box is there?
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The Lakota believe holiness begins where you become real, when you feel comfortable in your own skin. Maybe that’s where truth begins… in being naked and unashamed… a tough place to get to, especially when performance is marked with “blaming and shaming” far too often in our culture!
As always, a timely and important article, Olga!
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What a great article, Olga! I love this one. Perhaps, it’s because I’ve been learning this very thing for probably the past year… and am finding out more and more about myself. In some ways, I’ve had to step up and in other things, God’s shown me to let it go and that I’m ok the way I am. I’m thankful for His grace and mercy and the opportunity to listen to His guidance about who HE wants me to be!
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