To Forgive or Not To Forgive, That Is The Question
Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times,
but up to seventy times seven.
Matthew 18:21,22 (NASB)
Imagine a friend, someone you really trust, who tells a lie about you. The person asks for forgiveness and you forgive. But then you find out that they’ve done it again. Ouch. It’s hard, but you forgive them once more. As time goes on, you discover that they continue spreading lies about you. Are you still quick to forgive them? In our own ability, that sounds really hard to do. But we are supernaturally equipped to forgive. It’s a choice.
Unforgiveness is a heavy and toxic load. It can become the “baggage” we carry around for a lifetime. The toxicity or poison of unforgiveness is well documented as a root of physical and mental diseases. It’s so easy for us to sit in judgement and decide who does and does not “deserve” our forgiveness. We can easily justify why we will never forgive a person. And from the world’s point of view, we could be “in the right” to withhold our forgiveness. But that’s not how God sees it.
Forgiveness is a powerful force. Our salvation is based in forgiveness. God chose to forgive us and Jesus commands us to forgive as we have been forgiven. Jesus himself said this in Matthew 6:14,15: If we don’t forgive other people, neither will our Father who is in heaven forgive us. In the Gospels, Jesus repeatedly preached or taught about forgiveness. And His dying words were “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
When we choose to indulge ourselves in unforgiveness, our fellowship with the Father is hindered. First, we are disobeying Him; second, we are putting ourselves in His place as the judge; and not least, we are acting in negativity toward someone else whom Jesus loves and died for.
Much offense is caused by what we perceive to be a violation of our “rights” – or how we expect the world to treat us. The more we insist on clinging to our “rights,” the more we undermine the things that God is trying to do in our life.
It is also important to realize that in holding on to unforgiveness, we are allowing the person who caused us heartache and pain to continue to control us. When we forgive, we release ourselves from that control and release the person into the hands of God. God can and will take care of that person.
God is a good God. He would never ask us to forgive if He hadn’t given us the ability and the grace to do so. We have the blood of Jesus, the name of Jesus, the empowerment of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. We have everything we need to overcome in this life and to help other people. But unforgiveness can block all provision.
Forgiving people are happier and easier to be around. Unforgiving people carry a chip on their shoulder. They are difficult to be around and therefore, have difficulty in forming healthy relationships.
Will you choose to forgive as God has forgiven you? Now that’s the choice driven life!
Today’s Bible Reading:
1 Kings 17-18; Jude; Psalm 119
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Sometimes it is very difficult to forgive. I always think about Corrie ten Boom when I read something about forgiveness; she did the ultimate thing and she is my hero in this. I always think when she can do it, I can do it. It is soo important for us to forgive; we are not living our life when we don’t; thanks!
Yes, sometimes it is very difficult to forgive, but we need to do it and as we do it, we experience that God helps us in a supernatural way; His grace is always there for us!
This one is for me, friend. I’m not one to hold grudges or harbor unforgiveness…normally. But there is something heavy on my heart as of late. And the thing is, if I saw or heard from this person I would be cordial, laugh and talk, whatever. But the pain won’t go away. Have you really forgiven if the pain is still there?
Ron recently posted..Volume Control: How to sing loud without yelling
Hi Olga, a great article on forgiveness. You are so right about the power of unforgiveness over our lives… it can utterly destroy the person who is unforgiving as well as the person who needs to experience the forgiveness. To forgive is so freeing for both people as well. Jesus set for us the ultimate example… we really need to follow that example. Thanks for sharing this article… much appreciated.
Pat Moon recently posted..Menopause… How I Got Through Hot Flashes and Weight Gain
Are you preaching to me? lol This line says it all: “It is also important to realize that in holding on to unforgiveness, we are allowing the person who caused us heartache and pain to continue to control us. When we forgive, we release ourselves from that control and release the person into the hands of God. God can and will take care of that person.” Great article!
Jessica Stone recently posted..Unscrambling the Parenting Static
The times when it’s been toughest to forgive someone of their offenses against me have been the most enlightening times. Also the saddest, because what I’ve discovered is that I’ve committed ever far worse sins against my Savior!! I’ve mistreated Him far worse, so far, than anyone has mistreated me. It greatly humbles me. I truly am the worst of all sinners. And I don’t mean that to degrade myself. I just know there is no difference in my own carnality than a person sentenced to death for the most heinous of crimes. All I can do is bow down to the ground and cry out, “Holy! Holy! Holy! is the Lamb who sits on the Throne!”
Susan McKenzie recently posted..Mattie’s Life Story: Lessons from a Border Collie
This is a great word for me today as I have recently had something happen that has hurt me. Thank you for posting this today! I will take every word to heart! 😉
Very good post! Forgiveness isn’t a choice for me…it’s a necessity! I refuse to allow others to control me, because my freedom was bought with a very dear price. I aim to forgive very quickly and get on with life! It’s what works for me.
Mary Marriner recently posted..Getting closer on this hawk painting!
It’s a tough call and Jesus said in Luke 17: 4, quoting from KJV “And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him”. As always great teaching Olga.
Yes, “forgiving” people are happier people! What a great reminder of such a strong command from God! Forgiveness is a supernatural act.