Boundaries Can Bless Your Life

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
Psalm 16:6 (NIV)

While we were out enjoying coffee with a group of friends, one of the men in our group suddenly asked one of the women to change seats with him. It was very obvious that he was uncomfortable and wanted to switch places quickly. I asked him what was going on, and guess what he said? “Too much skin.” As I looked to see what had prompted his strong reaction, I immediately understood.

My husband and I also have been in uncomfortable situations where the waitresses were barely dressed. Their skirts were higher than the edge of the table and their bosoms overflowed their blouses. I am sorry, but that is so distasteful to me, that I want to change places just as our friend did.

What motivates women and girls to dress immodestly? I remember how naive I was in my early teens. The trend was to wear mini-skirts, and I wore my skirts as short as possible. Looking back, I realize why I dressed that way. I was raped when I was 13 and hadn’t told anyone. A man had overpowered me and used me in a very humiliating way. I didn’t feel good about myself and wanted to express my anger in one way or another. So, to cope with the pain on the inside, I dressed in ways to gain the attention that I craved. I was given no boundaries and I gave myself no boundaries.

Another reason for dressing provocatively is just being naïve to how our manner of dress mirrors the sexual “freedom” and hedonism (the attitude of “whatever feels good, do it”) of society. Some mistakenly believe that as long as they aren’t intentionally trying to sexually arouse a man, it’s okay to dress immodestly or wear clothes that accentuate certain body parts. But God sees it differently. In Proverbs 14:12 we read: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death” (NKJV).

Men also have a responsibility to set and honour boundaries. While they cannot control the way others dress, they can take appropriate action. It is natural for men to notice and observe women. But just as the man in our coffee get together asked to change places, one can honour a boundary by removing himself from a sexually provocative situation. Further we can all do the same by not patronizing or by leaving places that cross our Spirit-led boundaries.

God knows our limits and the end result of our choices. And He has given us His Spirit to prompt us in those grey areas such as how we present ourselves. The way we present ourselves sends a message to the world. While we don’t want to be legalistic and designate neckline depths and hem lengths, we do want to be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit and yield ourselves to the boundaries God sets for us.

Part of maturing is recognizing the need for and setting of boundaries. For me, a first step was giving thought to how I dressed, how I behaved, and how others might view me. Then as I learned more about God’s will for my life, I was able to choose to restrain myself in other areas and also to prevent others from taking advantage of me. Boundaries don’t limit us. They do not place us in bondage. No, they help us obey the leading of the Spirit and protect that which we value – our delightful inheritance!

Will you choose to establish boundaries for an area in your life that is troubling you? Now that’s the choice driven life!

Today’s Bible Reading: 

Ecclesiastes 1-3; 2 Tim 1; Psalm 45

Subscribe to our FREE Updates as soon as they are published and receive our FREE Report; Click Here